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read the bible on trains & in other public places and keep saying "oh man.. THIS fuckin guy"
create a flashing LED suit that displays @regisl's tweets. walk around. get hugged.
so drdogs accidentally replaced a patients heart with a tennis ball that was ONE TIME #wooWOOF
@pushinghoops once when I was a kid a woman crossed the road to tell my Vietnamese friend to go back to Africa, then crossed back again
you may now turn over the exam paper, Q.1 'you gonna sleep with your mouth open or closed, later?' your teacher scrambles to hide his 8 legs
girl was that an earthquake.. or did u just rock my world? *horrifically crushed by piles of rubble*
@ohnoshetwitnt i don't know who she was kidding since all her other tweets are boring & inane "Eating my first steak burrito at chipotle"
@sushi_goat oh i should be myself? ffs this whole time i was trying to be my dog
@sushi_goat you have helped me question the world that i live in which is worth 10 trillion internet dollars a year
wow, some people take twitter WAY too seriously, smh.. anyway, fav & RT this or i'll kill the hostages
hi @xboxsupport i was playin halo 1 in 2003 and my cousin gary said 'this is dope they should make a halo 2' plz get in touch re: copyright
"what's the secret pword?"..."buttstuff500" the door swings open to reveal the elusive twitcrew *it's just people arguing over dick pics*
@fecklesswaster i just imagined that every time de niro goes to make a sandwich "you hummin to me fridge? you hummin to me?"
@sushi_goat lol if ppl attach their sense of self-worth to their job or their social standing
@regisl completely lost the ability to move/see/think/hear and totally engulfed by white light, kinda beautiful in a terrifying way
student / clothes wearer / male human
