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Facebook bought Instagram for $1 billion. They could have just downloaded it for free ...
I just saw a Kony 2012 poster covering a fucking speed limit sign.
2012 km/h it is then.
WHAT IF OUR FARTS SOUNDED LIKE SCREAMS
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “Well done Draco.”
"James Blunt has announced he is quitting music. This is devastating news for both of his fans"
Gymnastics? MORE LIKE GYM-ASS-N-DICKS. #daaaaaym
Came up with a collective noun for a group of lesbians last night inebriated. "A scissor of lesbians"
The awkward moment the Westboro Baptist Church tweet they will picket Steve Jobs' funeral, and it's 'sent via Twitter for iPhone' #facepalm
Tampon ad: "We're not number 1, but we're up there."
It rained so much today I just ran into Harold Holt.
Lady Gaga's little monsters are the worst thing about being gay. They make me wish I liked women.
Post-production, retail, DJing, internet & shimmying extraordinarily. These tweets are mine only. Against #fraudband. For #DIYRainbow.