I just can't. This is my favourite tribute of Steve Jobs all day #iOS #RIP http://t.co/y99gxJDd (via @erikveland)

Facebook bought Instagram for $1 billion. They could have just downloaded it for free ...

I just saw a Kony 2012 poster covering a fucking speed limit sign.
2012 km/h it is then.

WHAT IF OUR FARTS SOUNDED LIKE SCREAMS

Best. Press release. Ever. @abctv_australia http://bit.ly/pqxtyY

Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “Well done Draco.”

The 21 Worst Things in the World. http://t.co/CoaZKIwJ

Phantom Flex4K - 1000fps in proper 4096x2304 (16:9). I'm going to die. This is way too intense. #nabshow  http://twitpic.com/chrg5f 

"James Blunt has announced he is quitting music. This is devastating news for both of his fans"

Gymnastics? MORE LIKE GYM-ASS-N-DICKS. #daaaaaym

Came up with a collective noun for a group of lesbians last night inebriated. "A scissor of lesbians"

The awkward moment the Westboro Baptist Church tweet they will picket Steve Jobs' funeral, and it's 'sent via Twitter for iPhone' #facepalm

Tampon ad: "We're not number 1, but we're up there."

It rained so much today I just ran into Harold Holt.

Lady Gaga's little monsters are the worst thing about being gay. They make me wish I liked women.

Me: "Do NOT spoil Weeds for me or I will cut your face off." @pat_haddock: "Voldemort dies". Dead.

I think it's 50% off. Can you tell? http://twitpic.com/5hjjpq

"Can you see if this still works?" http://twitpic.com/5gcpe2

“@douggpound: FInally a funeral that Westboro Baptists can protest without pissing anybody off.”

That's irritating. New @echofon update removes ability to view just username. Now it's stuck on username + name.