And, for a moment, Miami was Allentown.

LeBron could be in the NFL because that was a great T.O.

My mom gave me a present every day for going to swim lessons and now I'm a have-to-get-my-way monster.

"Our sports budget here at NBC is too high." "How much does Bob cost us?"

Based on Darius Rucker singing the national anthem before this NBA finals game, I predict the Bulls will beat the Suns by 12.

I'm trying to figure out which 4 women Phil Mickelson looks like.

"Thank you, Superman! You saved our city except for those 18 skyscrapers!" #ManofSteel

The new Superman is great if you like baby dick.

Fencers have lunge together all the time.

I was too young to know Reagan as a villain. I just knew that I lived in a nice town and this handsome old guy loved America.

I'm in a casual Shakespeare Company. This summer we're doing Hank 5 and Dick 3.

Hey, skinny lead singers. Your "different" little dances are alarmingly the same.

I wonder if Dr. Nick Riviera ever gets high, everybody.

"Hey." "Howdy." "Nope. Just, 'Hey'."

@blakegriffin32 I do the same thing with this guy. pic.twitter.com/uB7ty23mvO

I hope one day to cover someone who just fell asleep with a blanket because that means I'm a good person.

Does anyone else feel like Blake is jizzing on himself in that sunscreen Kia ad?

Just had a box of apple juice and an Oreo because I may be 40 on the outside, but on the inside I'm dying from my poor choices.

Me in shorts is like an apartment with a view of the town dump. pic.twitter.com/rnOvFAipUX

I used to hate it when people let the elevator break us down.