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Love how the Indian term for being in a committed relationship and being in the hospital is same. "Voh serious hai"
If somebody asks you for dowry, fuck with them by sending all the stuff via Flipkart and select cash on delivery.
Table Tennis athlete from China called Ding Ning. If you say her name 8 times, somewhere Daler Mehendi starts to sing Rang De Basanti.
Trying hard to think of a joke better than Sharad Pawar and N Srinivasan saying they have zero tolerance for corruption.
Their cops: door to door manhunt for a criminal.
Our cops: slapping people who come to their doors for protesting crime.
"66A is in effect.."
"Your freedom of speech is under threat.."
"May take away porn.."
As the iPhone 5 launches tomorrow, we as the human race must collectively ask ourselves - "Is our second kidney really that important?" #re
Minutes silence for folks who insisted that a regressive sexual attitude is an uneducated, lower-class, hindi-speaking demographic problem.
Kumbh Mela is basically Aastha's version MTV Grind.
8 pm: Balls to the IPL yo.
9 pm: Hate the IPL.
10 pm: Nah, still don't care.
11 pm: Hmmmm.
11:30: WHAT A CATCH BHENCHOD WHAT A CATCH
The best Lootera review by random dude walking out of theatre. "Band Baaja Baarat mein Ranveer was a dude, in this movie he is a subdued"
Guys, relax. That massive Shivaji statue that we're spending a few hundred crores on will make the city safer for it's people. Chill.
Sanjay Dutt leaving the jail so often has finally proven that the Bigg Boss house has stricter rules than the Indian judiciary.
Not eating for your husband to live longer is like getting married early to prevent rape. One has nothing to do with the other.
Umar Gul. Which is also what people say to describe Shahid Afridi's age.
Donno why Raghu and Rajeev are so angry at the roadies. The only two people who deserve to be that angry at the roadies are Wren and Martin.
If the congress was in goa:
BJP: "Ma'm, are you sure you're from Italy? You look a little desi"
Sonia: "Haan dilli se hoo bhenchod"
What punishment are the cops who didn't want to help her because "she didn't lay in their jurisdiction" getting?
Why no matter what, Salman Khan will not get my respect: http://bollywoodbingo.wordpress.com/2013/06/27/ravindra-patil-the-death-of-a-messenger/ …
Writer, Comic, Co-Founder AIB. http://www.facebook.com/tanmaycomedy