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Even your inspirational quotes can't ruin my good mood
The best week of the entire year is over and you're trying to distract me with 30% off handbags? Fuck you, Cyber Monday
I like when Facebook reminds me of things that happened 3 years ago as part of their "We Own Your Memories" campaign
My favorite part of working out is focusing on the physical pain instead of the emotional pain for a few minutes a day
I hope the football team you like does whatever the fuck you want them to so you can have a nice Sunday
I just met someone for lunch and we were both angrily sitting on other ends of the restaurant for 10 minutes thinking the other one was late
If you want time to slow to a crawl just have something to look forward to
The future is a terrifying place and we are all going there
Being awake is overrated
There is almost definitely a spider in your bed with you right now
producer of ABC's The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. director of Looking for Lenny. founder of Unspirational. very indoorsy
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