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If this drunk guy next to me who keeps staring at me even tries to speak to me I'm really going to lose my mind
I'm sorry I didn't call you back it's just because I don't like you
There is some kind of very loud animal fight going on outside my front door and I have never been more terrified
My super power is staying single
If I had three wishes all of them would be for you to stop talking about your diet
producer of ABC's The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. director of Looking for Lenny. very indoorsy. jerk with good intentions. dog lover.