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“What’d you do today”
“Went on treasure hunt”
“I hope you mean job hunt”
“You need to find a job”
“Not if I find treasure”
If you ever feel like you’ve forgotten something important, just remember that the Ancient Greeks never came up with a word for “blue”.
“If she only had a more expensive purse, THEN she’d be hot.” - no guy ever.
Lois: They say it all goes downhill after the 1st kiss
Clark: That only counts if you’re kissing a human
So THAT’S my problem.
The worst part about looking for a job is that if you’re successful, you end up with a job.
Think you can't overcome your situation?
King John of Bohemia fought in countless battles during the 100 Years War.
He was blind.
If you’ve ever made a big deal out of something small, just remember that in 1836 Santa Anna held an elaborate funeral for his amputated leg
Whenever you do something stupid, just remember that Caligula once declared war on Poseidon. As in, THE OCEAN.
If you ever feel like you’re unlucky, just remember that Stonewall Jackson was shot by his own men. Three times.
God: I need an Ark built.
*Jesus lowers sunglasses*
Jesus: I Noah guy.
SPACE JAM 2 IS HAPPENING