Facebook was the most searched for term on Google in 2010. If you need Google to find Facebook, you should get the hell off the internet.

Snuggies are a gateway drug to Depends.

Dear Wikipedia, Instead of constant appeals for donations, just allow advertising. You'll seem less needy. We'll enjoy the scenery change.

Now when I use my iPhone, I get to pretend I'm a giant with an iPad. Just like pretending the broccoli on your plate is a bunch of trees.

At Sun events we'd have AC/DC cover bands. At Oracle events they get AC/DC.

Google Wave life cycle: 1) Ask for invite 2) log in & wonder WTF 3) Brag you have invites 4) Invite others to do #2 5) Never touch it again

Take your child to work day, pfft. We have a brutal 90 day internship, it's called Summer Vacation.

I think I have "Doctor Regenerative Anxiety Disorder"

Tell every conservative you know that SOPA means our kids will only go to Spanish language sites.

Whenever I find myself awake at 3 AM, running into my kids rooms yelling "Wake up! It's SNOWING!", always seems like the right thing to do.

Hey everyone it's Cinco de Mayo Eve. Remember to leave out Tequila & Chiclets for the Great Sombrero tonight.

If you believe only guns make everyone safer, try a whistle, a ball, some kids, a little of your time, and just piece or two of your heart.

Finally realizing why for years I hated FB and stuck with Twitter. Hard to fit all your stupid in 140 characters.

Two plus hour mandatory software security assurance course completed.

Here's the CliffsNotes™ version. pic.twitter.com/PSEJDffr

I think it's about time the folks from iRobot and Norelco get together to create the Groomba.

I dream of the day when everyone realizes that it is far better to lift someone up, rather than put someone down.

Fun with zoom. I spy a Sun Ray 3 Plus. (Oracle Branded!) #NASA #Curiosity http://t.co/KKq3yU6M

Coming downstairs and not seeing Christmas decorations. #afewofmyunfavoritethings

BREAKING: Navy SEALs release picture of Bin Laden's iPod. http://twitpic.com/4sgjtx

It seems that @mrsthinguy & I have failed to pass along the gene that allows for the proper opening of a cereal box to any of our offspring.