If you don't like @swisslipstweet, I don't like you.

“@foalsfoalsfoals: Also enter shikari can go fuck themselves, trampoline jumping twats”

Two of my favourite bands at a feud. I'm upset.

I just saw a kid of about 11 spit on the floor and then walk head first into a lamppost. That'll teach you, you little shit.

Thanks a lot, Thatcher. Now I have to change my Feminism essay writing about you from 'is' to 'was'.

Haha my poo was green and smelt of broccli. #Shrek5

I just got smacked in the face by a branch. Terrific.

Meanwhile, on the M1... pic.twitter.com/1Ffk7o9lcH

Incredible:  https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/922811_584885644868845_1315982352_n.jpg …

I just put The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, on my phone! ON MY PHONE!

The chap from Domino's who was on Supersize vs. Superskinny? Yeah, he delivered my pizza, and he looks fresh. A new man. Fair play to him.

Corn on the cob.

David Attenborough is not allowed to die, ever.

I wish I was Bilbo Baggins. #Bagginses

Get down with the down with the: pic.twitter.com/pRw7icvo

Mo Farah's head looks like a malteser.

One month today until @swedishousemfia at MK Bowl - #SHMMKB.
@calvinharris, @madeon, @alesso, @example, @petetong, @sebingrosso.

141 days, 18 hours, 22 minutes and 5 seconds until @officialrandl.

Well what else would I have drawn? http://t.co/R0g5RDy9

Bit drunk.

00:00.