Your momma's so fat she don't just #occupywallstreet she #OCCUPYALLSTREET. #burn.

Movies you masturbated to that weren't technically Porn. #dreamcategories #jeopardy

@longlivemufasa Bieber Fever is something you get from drinking water Bieber has pooed in (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver_fever) #facts

It's March now! Fuck you February and good riddance! ❤

"I think I killed Judy Garland." the lesser known Cranberries song.

that fun game everyone loves to play: Where's my Pants?!

Where's my According to Jim movie @kickstarter !?

sometimes....i wish it was harder to be stupid.

IS THERE A PLACE that can put an image on a snap bracelet? pic.twitter.com/gPQKSso861

#craftstore #vandalism @narwhalynn pic.twitter.com/4wKR9T73TM

"THIS ROOM displeases me! take me to another!" -my dog/hedonism bot

They keep using Shadow ball against a skitty on this stupid episode of Pokemon and it is FRUSTRATING THE CRAP OUT OF ME! #nerdz

i don't so much have a food journal, it's more like a food suicide note....

who even knows anything?

"no. YOU had too much wine with dinner." #thingsiyellatmydog #allthetime

@kirabira @videogum the important thing is there are websites that care about you and want you to make good, safe choices.

@longlivemufasa "and easy." "For a good time see Sarah Conner circa 1984" - every bathroom stall left in the future.

Half-tempted to yell "WHO WANTS A WALK?" and then not give anyone a walk. #aprilfools #HowtoBreakaDogsheart #iwouldnever

HOWEVER, i actually DID get to respond: "I don't work here to make friends." which pleased me to no end. #laughingquietlytomyself

"Baby It's Cold Outside": the most date-rapingest Christmas Song.