Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
We should bang
New boss: Good morning.
Me: I'm fine thanks. How are you?
I would never presume to know or understand your pain but you are welcome to heal in the shadow of my love.
You're on crack!
- The ex, during sex.
Sadly, not a drug reference.
Ok..I'm not racist, but...white people, you fucking suck.
Where there's a will, there's a turner.
I'm comfortable with you when:
- I'm weird with you
- I sing whatever song comes into my mind
- I say what's on my mind
- I talk nonsense.
I'm on twitter and oldest just said "Mom, you know you should be getting dinner ready"
And that is why he's my least favorite.
Fuck eating healthy
Jealous? You can't say that just cause I murdered a couple of guys who spoke to you. Oh all of them? Ok let's not focus on the details here.
Less Drama ; More Cake.
I’m so hungry I thought I smelled bacon just now. But I’m probably just having a stroke, no biggie…
Did you know that today is National outdoor intercourse day?
How did we allow tucking the ears inside a baseball cap?! If you do that please unfollow me this instance!
"There will be snacks." - someone successfully convincing me to do anything