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GUYS I'M GOING TO A SCREENING OF THE MASTER TOMORROW NIGHT AND AMY ADAMS AND PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN WILL BE THERE I CONTROL FATE CRYING BYE
Guns don't kill people. People WITH GUNS kill people. So.....I guess......yeah, it is kinda the guns. Dammit.
If I'm not allowed to retweet you, you're dead to me.
I can't believe I hung out with Amy Adams last night and they're still expecting me to go to class like one of you peasants.
Hey, America? I just have to tell you something real quick. "Definitely" and "defiantly" are two separate words. That's all, buddy.
I don't understand 86% of these floats or why they're relevant.
I'm thankful for Jennifer Aniston.
I just found an earring in my coat pocket. I feel like this is all I need to launch a successful rap career.
Hi I'll have nine large coffees please
I'm 20 but I'm convinced I'm really 65. I think I'm funnier than I am. One day, I'll have an Oscar. I somehow see what's beautiful in things that are ephemeral.