Those who question why I am so crazy have obviously not met my basket case of a family.

What if after death you get to see all the dreams people had of you.

I DEMAND YOU TO HANDLE MY CRAZY

I will remain humble in my quest to find someone who also understands the true meaning of loving another person.

"I won't cry for you, my mascara is too expensive."

Horny. Whatever.

Please buy me booze

Is a pregnant woman in toga pants as unattractive as a fat chick in yoga pants?

But I never shut the door when I pee

It would be nice for someone to actually return the love and respect that I give them. Open your eyes people.

If you're going to ask me to follow you, AT LEAST have interesting tweets. Is that too much to ask for?

@dannyraceraz pic.twitter.com/7S0DPs6nse

I'm eating cereal at 9:59 p.m. because it's one of the few things that's not illegal so far.

Okay, okay I admit it... once the poop starts getting wild I shut the door.

My mom came over yesterday to help make wedding decorations and once we were done she says "those are so adorbs"

Treat me like a joke, I'll leave you like it's funny

Taylor Swift is such a pussy ass bitch, it annoys me.

Happy B'day @dannyraceraz pic.twitter.com/wMB1n7fV

I should not work in a bakery. These letters are crazy. @dannyraceraz pic.twitter.com/MxqFIGUB

@dannyraceraz pic.twitter.com/nmBQQsuM