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Had a shit day? Is life getting you down a bit?
Take a look at this 4yr olds picture of a horse.
You're welcome. http://t.co/6yXDyAbg
*shout kids*
Nothing
*shouts louder*
Nothing
*shouts from mid way up stairs*
Nothing
*turn router off*
All kids down in 47 seconds
Ladies who wear 'nude' coloured leggings... Let this be a lesson to you.. You horrendous creatures http://t.co/hp6Rx6VL
Puts dog out for a piss .. Goes to let him in.. Can't find him.. Panics... Runs about...
WANKER http://t.co/xRbjToS9
feeling a bit down?.. Had a shit day? Have a look at this 4yr olds picture of me riding a horse..
You're welcome. http://t.co/AdQqn7G4
Hi Alan... I saw you on one born.. How much did the baby weigh? ;-)
. @alancarr http://t.co/RKXZZkHj
Just been in Morrisons on Saturday the 29th December... And this happened..
No.. Really..
. pic.twitter.com/Ilg5tElB
I'm going to give 100% at work tomorrow.. By driving in to the carpark.. Then immediately fucking off home.
#ImACeleb
For the few who asked
The day I made a row of chicken vaginas..It upset a woman so much, she cried and left Twitter http://t.co/EPxrzge7
Fucking middle class Christmas adverts.
Where's the one with the dad pissed off his face on Stella and the mum crying in the kitchen?
*log in to Facebook*
Don't care
Bullshit
Slag
Get a job
It's YOU'RE not YOUR you dippy cunt
*logs out*
There is a jehovas witness woman knocking on my door.. We can clearly see each other through the window.. I have mouthed 'jog the fuck on'
Small child ... Mum, how do you spell CUNT?
Me.. *opens and closes mouth*
Her.. You know, like.. I 'cunt' play out today coz it's raining.
Fucking HELL... One Direction.. Looking like they've been catapulted through a Topman sale rack.
#ClosingCeremony
I'm going to learn this so I can be more professional at work.
. pic.twitter.com/3aE0yV768f
I'm sarcastic and Northern. If my Tweets offend you I can stop if you like? Or you can fuck off.. second option is easier.
