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Obnoxious atheists are as annoying as their religious counterparts right? I mean obviously they are, just asking if it's okay to say it yet.
Sometimes I think they put penguins so far away from everyone just to torture us.
If I ever hacked someone's Twitter, I'd probably just write more funny shit and they'd be all "Thanks bro!" and I'd be all dooooooomentionit
If you put a sign at an intersection saying 'In the Name of Love', I think the subconscious of motorists would still know to stop.
When you start to look at the Internet as a new planet, and Twitter as a nation-state, you begin to see your colonist self more honestly.
A fat guy wearing a winter hat in the summertime is called a Hipsterpotamous.
You guys can make fun of Canadians all you like but until we stop having a bacon named after us it's never going to hurt.
I wonder how much it would cost to hire a Mexican quartet to follow me while I trudge around in the rain and look depressed.
Hugh Hefner's on Twitter. So, second place for most-blown-while-tweeting goes to ..
If you're a celebrity who pays people to write your Twitter jokes, your real ones don't count either.
Jaleel White must have used the high pitched "Did I do that?" catchphrase in at least one kinky sexual situation over the years.
I used to think it was a 'Plutonic' relationship, meaning Pluto's relation to the earth to express distance. Not fucking bad for a mistake.
Give me a long moment to explain Twitter to you and I'll sound like a poet. Give me a short moment and I'll sound like I'm fucking twelve.
It's possible that people who don't get fussy or political about favs/RTs/follows are just .. cooler?
The guy who just described himself as a 'Vaginatarian' is within moments of first discovering and then saying "Because I don't eat meat!!"
I'm funny in person.
