Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The world really bullshits children about hippos.
I see everybody forgot to put "purchase bucket" on their Bucket List.
Obnoxious atheists are as annoying as their religious counterparts right? I mean obviously they are, just asking if it's okay to say it yet.
Sometimes I think they put penguins so far away from everyone just to torture us.
If I ever hacked someone's Twitter, I'd probably just write more funny shit and they'd be all "Thanks bro!" and I'd be all dooooooomentionit
If you put a sign at an intersection saying 'In the Name of Love', I think the subconscious of motorists would still know to stop.
When you start to look at the Internet as a new planet, and Twitter as a nation-state, you begin to see your colonist self more honestly.
A fat guy wearing a winter hat in the summertime is called a Hipsterpotamous.
I hope hipsters at least bring back pogo sticks.
You guys can make fun of Canadians all you like but until we stop having a bacon named after us it's never going to hurt.
I wonder how much it would cost to hire a Mexican quartet to follow me while I trudge around in the rain and look depressed.
Hugh Hefner's on Twitter. So, second place for most-blown-while-tweeting goes to ..
If you're a celebrity who pays people to write your Twitter jokes, your real ones don't count either.
We Canadians now pronounce it Eh, Plus.
Jaleel White must have used the high pitched "Did I do that?" catchphrase in at least one kinky sexual situation over the years.
Going for a drive with a friend just because. I miss things like that.
I used to think it was a 'Plutonic' relationship, meaning Pluto's relation to the earth to express distance. Not fucking bad for a mistake.
Give me a long moment to explain Twitter to you and I'll sound like a poet. Give me a short moment and I'll sound like I'm fucking twelve.
It's possible that people who don't get fussy or political about favs/RTs/follows are just .. cooler?
The guy who just described himself as a 'Vaginatarian' is within moments of first discovering and then saying "Because I don't eat meat!!"