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  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    I’ve never seen a wedding ring on anyone who posts pictures of their intricate nail art.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    mcooper9122__LAsPaulTaylor____Pen_In_Handnight_ragerHumor_FetishElinHegeDreamersWakeNintenDom
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    MyFunnyRetweetGrant_ShowbizElinHegeDreamersWakeJustCallMeFrankchimp_chumpnombuleeloKingDavidLane
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Breaking: Some old republican guy who doesn’t want to pay taxes said something racist.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    xwholeheartedxSarcasmicfiend_B4TM4NLAsPaulTaylor____aeroplanextHumor_FetishDeepDarkFearAniOBrien
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    _B4TM4NThe1OnlyWBRJustCallMeFrank
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Guys, it was me. I invented Bitcoins. I have proof: pic.twitter.com/aiUdRiEuZ2

    • 11
    • FAVS
    buck4ittKrustyKongAwfulBadGarbageglhaynesHell4Heatherdisaster_dogxwholeheartedxsazzt
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    DudeGurlzxwholeheartedxDJPIE1337Avatar_unknown_48
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    It’s 2014 can we please figure out how to get more flavor dust to stick to chips?

    • 7
    • FAVS
    buck4ittPrimeLionAlexyoungredheaddmattyp90disaster_dogJustCallMeFrankAvatar_unknown_48
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    IMUSTBEACATPrimeLionAlexyoungredheaddthyselfiebbyghostieSonichu1disaster_dog
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Was just defeated by a French vending machine. I couldn’t figure it out.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    philosop_hernikhimselfKaysNHDmvm1977jkramblesMikeSchismaeroplanextdisaster_dog
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    MikeSchismAvatar_unknown_48
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    I’d never tweet, “I’d kill for some potatoes.” Cause what if someone with potatoes gets killed and that tweet gets used against me in court?

    • 5
    • FAVS
    buck4ittrndhouseMariamAFCJustCallMeFrankAvatar_unknown_48
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    sammyoriginsMariamAFCzayokayHomiBaloniJustCallMeFrankAvatar_unknown_48
  • toffer
    • 6
    • FAVS
    PotatoSalad69rudetanksAre_Kellydisaster_dogAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    yomolly69MalloryCoyledisaster_dogAvatar_unknown_48
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Now there’s a pen podcast (@pen_addict) *and* a pencil podcast (@erasablepodcast) . So, I’m going to make a podcast about sniffing markers.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    LilardielolshinneatographymattcassinelliJonnyWoodburyChewingPencilsmscollisAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    MilanJuzadowdyism
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Religious freedom should never trump actual freedom.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    jenninaboxBorstolJunkiemattcockshowjmdinhNickCasaliniHuwLaytonJustCallMeFrankmscollis
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    mattcockshowJustCallMeFrank
    JustCallMeFrank
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    I asked my girlfriend to marry me last night. She said yes!

    Please send gifts or money in lieu of congratulations.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    disaster_dogaeroplanextmscollisjjlsetterjkramblesWeThePPILAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    "I don't like touching my butt directly when it itches." ― The inventor of pants

    • 6
    • FAVS
    MentalErroristmodblotPrashant_SarojYWIRTakeThatPunkdisaster_dog
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    MentalErroristTakeThatPunkdisaster_dog
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    Wearing a robe is like wearing a hug no one will give you.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    BandersnaaatchaeroplanextglhaynesparizardKevyMetalWorldphilosop_herISaidDont
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    parizardphilosop_her
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    If I was a cop and there was a serial killer that left behind Cadbury Eggs, I wouldn’t try too hard to catch the guy.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Marilyn_Janeth_BandersnaaatchmodblotKevyMetalWorldphilosop_her
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Bandersnaaatchphilosop_her
  • toffer
      Toffer @toffer

    “You’re making me look stupid.” ― Someone who is likely stupid

    • 4
    • FAVS
    MiepvonSydowphilosop_hermistieladyviJustCallMeFrank
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JJ_AlexanderionappsportsJustCallMeFrank
@toffer

@toffer

The curator and writer of Little.Story.Gallery (@LilStoryGallery), a gallery of little stories.