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I’ve never seen a wedding ring on anyone who posts pictures of their intricate nail art.
It’s 2014 can we please figure out how to get more flavor dust to stick to chips?
Breaking: Some old republican guy who doesn’t want to pay taxes said something racist.
Was just defeated by a French vending machine. I couldn’t figure it out.
I want a beach body. A body that is a beach. I want to be made of sand and feel the water splash against me slowly eroding me to nothing.
Darwin Valentine’s Day card idea: You were a natural selection.
I’d never tweet, “I’d kill for some potatoes.” Cause what if someone with potatoes gets killed and that tweet gets used against me in court?
The first rule of @cwpencils’s pencil of the month club is tell everyone about @cwpencils’s pencil of the month club http://cwpencils.com/collections/pencil-of-the-month-club …
Religious freedom should never trump actual freedom.
Employed by the Pope of Eruke. Tweets are for my future biographers and are not the views or opinions of the Pope of Eruke. I will always love @disaster_dog.
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