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Spending my afternoon doing drive-by LinkedIn endorsements of things I couldn’t possibly know.
Just like everyone else apparently does.
That moment when you raise the empty travel mug up to your lips, but pretend to drink anyway because you’re not alone in the elevator.
Two Words: Sedative Exercise.
Someone make that happen, and I’ll be the first in line.
MORE HUMMUS THAN HUM-MUS, MORE HUMMUS THAN HUM-MUS, MORE HUMMUS THAN HUM-MUS, MORE HUMMUS THAN HUM-MUS, MORE HUMMUS THAN HUM-MUS…
Once again I must ask “Who are these horrible, horrible people in Escape (The Piña Colada Song)?”
“Wait…we were BOTH going to cheat? LOL!”
Watching that episode of The X-Files where Scully is in grave danger near the end and doesn’t know it.
Hemlock Grove: A Review Haiku
Nice look, spooky stuff. /
Thirteen episodes? Really? /
Five would’ve done it.
CNN BREAKING NEWS: Goody Osburn seen consorting with the Devil, sources say.
Anyone needs an epitaph for me, it’s four words: “He wanted to understand”.
Anyone needs an epithet for me, it’s three: “Fuck that guy”.
Greasy haired guy in silk robe at Barnes and Noble is lingering post checkout. Guess he hasn’t not cared what enough other people think yet.
If reality is one big experiment, I’m pretty sure I’m not in the control group.
The truest sign of southern gentility is the ability to ask for pulled pork without snickering.
Just had plumber out to open a couple of valves in plain sight, turns out.
It was the “hit caps lock and walk away” of plumbing support.
If the 2012 election was a wake-up call for the Republican Party, they clearly ripped the phone out of the wall and threw it at the TV.
I can only imagine the sense of accomplishment that comes from being the 61,527th person to name a fish with no “A” in a Facebook comment.
Your Best Nightmare
