@tollehaus' (Tolle Haus) most faved Tweets...
2 hrs ago at Applebee's. Wife: Do you think the apple pie is any good here? Me: Mmmm. Pie curious, eh? Wife: Sigh.
Using the word 'awesome' in your Twitter Bio? I respectfully request that you change it to 'delusional' or 'narcissistic'...ok?
HIM: "You..,retweet me." HER: "Stop...you had me at fol-low...you had me at fol-low." (Cue romantic music)
Hey guys, my wife shaved her legs this morning. That can only mean one thing - an OB/GYN appt this afternoon. #marriedlife
Helped my 6 yr old daughter carve a pumpkin. There was much whining & a tantrum or two. But, eventually I calmed down & finished the job :)
Each Halloween I like to give the kids a scare. This yr I'll be discussing the national debt & the impact it will have on their generation.
Swine flu is weird. I now have strong cravings for truffles. Plus, I find my wife's recent weight gain quite arousing.
What parent *hasn’t* left their huge helium balloon tethered within reach of their young children? Let’s not get all judgy... #balloonboy
Car pooling. Yuk. Driving thru the Lincoln Tunnel wedged between my coworkers was not fun. Eventually, I developed Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
At the grocery store: A Barbie electric toothbrush? Hmm. I didn't know she had an oral fixation. Ken is one lucky man.
You said "Social Media Expert"...I heard "Block Me! Now! Yes, Now!" So, don't feel bad. It's not you, it's me : )
My favorite super hero is 'The Clit Crusader'! (His sidekick 'The Cunning Linguist' is pretty cool too.)
Fail Whale, this isn't easy for me to say...but, this just isn't working out. I think we should stop seeing each other.
I should go on a diet. But, my wife won't let me: "Honey, your Term Life policy won't pay out after age 60. So, eat up!"
My brother’s a botanist. Tedious work. But, he indulges his wild side on the weekends fronting a punk rock band - The Sex 'Pistils'
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