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Jonathan Winters was crazy. Good kind of crazy, the genius kind. Make you laugh in parts of you that rarely laughed. Giggling bone marrow.
i was offended by Obama's sexist comment on how good-looking Kamala Harris is, because she's not.
Having a coffee and a pickle for lunch. Don't have an eating disorder just really lazy
.@senjohnmccain is confused. The surge may have helped to end the Iraq War, but the Iraq War was STILL a colossal mistake.
Senator Michael Crapo was arrested in Virginia & charged with a DUI. With a name like that, is it any wonder he'd be drinking?
Psy once sang an anti-American song. I had no idea Psy performed anything by Ted Nugent.
I'm taking the No Turducken Jokes Pledge this year. Join me, wont you?
@realdonaldtrump Do you think OPEC is gouging for gas in New York, you idiot? Those are your entrepreneurs practicing the Art of the Deal
Just found this website called "Hamster Dance." WHY DID MITTENS NOT USE THIS FOR HIS CAMPAIGN THEME SONG?
Skewed RT @katulis: Pres Obama has @jayz & @springsteen with him on Monday, and @mittromney has @kidrock.
#Romney “Seeing him with Chris Christie is tearing me apart.” http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/romney-seeing-him-with-chris-christie-is-tearing-me-apart.html#ixzz2B1G6sTI9 …
Mustn't breed dependency! MT @arashshirazi: Dressing up as Mitt Romney for #Halloween--refusing candy to 47% of kids.
Under Obama, "...start registering for immediate assistance." Under Romney, "See that sand over there? Go pound it." #FEMA #NewJersey
Chris Christie decided to dress up as Barack Obama's best friend for Halloween.
Mitt Romney saw this picture and immediately curled into the fetal position. Can you hear his cries? pic.twitter.com/vt6mRVT8