@torrez's (Andre Torrez) most faved Tweets...
Great moments in Torrez history: in the shower this morning I smacked myself in the junk while playing air guitar.
Actual conversation with clerk:
"That'll be $4.20—my favorite number."
"You say that every time I order this."
"I do?"
"That'll be $4.20—my favorite number."
"You say that every time I order this."
"I do?"
Was thinking, "I can't believe I get paid for this!" and then remembered that I don't actually get paid for this.
I quit drinking coffee last month and switched to tea. Now I can fall asleep at 10pm because I'm so boring.
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Setting up bank accounts, deposting checks, and approving logos. This must be what it's like to be a Hip-Hop artist.
11
I set up a Google Alert for my own name and now I am greeted every morning with the rundown of people named "Torrez" involved in homicides.
11
I just told my wife I was going to make jambalaya for dinner and she looked at me like I said I was going to drive the car to the moon.
11
Unhooked Twitter from Facebook. Don't need everyone I grew up with knowing I'm an idiot who wonders about trash. That's just for you guys.
11
I just threw my fists in the air while reading some release notes. (They fixed something I needed fixed!) My wife was suitably mortified.
10
My Windows7 purchase was assigned to Microsoft Fraud protection which doesn't open until Monday morning. Keep on Microsofting it, Microsoft.
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