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Guys, I just wanted to say I'm not sorry for any of my tweets.
You can fuck off.
maybe you hate people because you insist on reading their tweets.
I just found out my twitter crush is single,
I'm not interested anymore
GAY BLACK MAN CONFESS TO BEING NBA PLAYER! BIG DEAL!
Fact: If I see the word "lumberjack" on your breakfast menu then I need look no further.
when someone says 'stop' i can never tell if it's in the name of love, it's hammertime, or if i should collaborate and listen.
I took a selfie of celery & now its stalking me.
I'm a very understanding guy, but I could NEVER date someone that wears A&F, Hollister, Aeropostale, or American Eagle.
My boyfriend said he loves me so much he'd rather snuggle than fuck sometimes and that's the cutest reason ever I've had to dump someone.
My new safe word is "train wreck" which is conveniently also my Starbucks order name.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Their instead of they're, imminent death.
Professional martini drinker and boy kisser. Author of Your Boyfriend & Other Guys I've Kissed and Boys, Booze & Booty Calls, in stores and on Amazon now!