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  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.

    • 843
    • FAVS
    LandMadison29sierralarsenJuCollinsSarah_HittlekindrexDkredvettephaupert14850AnchoviesFoster
    • 634
    • RETWEETS
    Micropan44140ronSarah_HittleDkredvetteChiveGrnLanternwillazo20ChiveEnthusiastTownDrunKCCO
    GroperClevelandwesjohnson8JiminyKicksItShaunRightNowLisabug74
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Did it hurt when you fell out the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down??....

    • 542
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCDonkeyJohnsonLakeoconeebldrP8NT4Rsnapperjonjeffreyvanclea1squirrel74wkgndenaschmucker
    • 324
    • RETWEETS
    DonkeyJohnsonP8NT4Rjeffreyvanclea1denaschmuckerMentalAbortionDBailogOneLastStranger__NicLove71
    joshingsternPointBroke________IRONNUMA
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I dated a midget once...I was nuts over her...

    • 543
    • FAVS
    PanicRestroomsamyokumspasian_Dsef4898quesingaoAnchoviesFosterZirconpartialTheBlacksmith_
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    IamJickzsheellbiiBaxterbixBenStauffer_MrNickJCDonkeyJohnsonsquirrel74wkgndenaschmucker
    WonderMonkey78ShaunRightNowcurlymalloyruslg1
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    How does anything get done at the bubble wrap factory.....??

    • 488
    • FAVS
    maggiespitlerspasian_kindrexDanteAmerigojanesmith4197AnchoviesFosterTheBlacksmith_Rare_JadeFire
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    janesmith4197Rare_JadeFireCursitivityMaplevadapavlantenengoMrNickJCDonkeyJohnsondenaschmucker
    byronblurb
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    If men had periods our commercials would be awesome...

    • 388
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCDonkeyJohnsonsquirrel74wkgnfaramoushdenaschmuckerOldUncleDaveOMomSaidNoTwiterOneLastStranger__
    • 281
    • RETWEETS
    DonkeyJohnsondenaschmuckerLeland_BrewMomSaidNoTwiterOneLastStranger__foolofasufIddieRyminjimlumbadass
    BCSkimiBlayne
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Our sex was so good the other night I noticed my gf's toes were curled, then I realized I hadn't blown her up completely...

    • 414
    • FAVS
    BadPatrick1rebranded2MomentsOfScottDanteAmerigoAnchoviesFosterZirconpartialjackiesmithjulyElenaChristie
    • 196
    • RETWEETS
    MrNickJCmichaelmoreno63david_tullDonkeyJohnsonTracyL66RdB777jeffreyvanclea1squirrel74wkgn
    jeffreyvanclea1mr_no_pants
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    When someone asks me "Are you stupid or something", I always pick "something", cause it could be nachos or a fuzzy kitty...

    • 354
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCDonkeyJohnsonsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerOneLastStranger__thereverendcinkRowdyBergerDzNutz83
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    DonkeyJohnsonfavstar_historydenaschmuckerJesskuhpennyOneLastStranger__WheelTodmonibee82Bownuggets
    FirawesomeKritzwit
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green......

    • 335
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCDonkeyJohnsonsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerpete46and2OneLastStranger__thereverendcinkDzNutz83
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    DonkeyJohnsondenaschmuckerOneLastStranger__DzNutz83IddieRyminhaggis_loverDumbConfessionsBlueIvysBrother
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I liked Skrillex back when he was called "AOL Dial-up"...

    • 269
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerthereverendcinkDzNutz83Sgraham231hadafewbeersDJNoRequest
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerMagnamuraDJNoRequestSeptimus216IddieRyminAndre_3004InkedLestrangelovemydogduck
    adambation
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    My 5yr old farted by me on the couch. I said,what are you supposed to say? She said, wasn't' me......Fucking awesome..

    • 246
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerOneLastStranger__Sgraham231hadafewbeersleahlovescheezBownuggets
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerOneLastStranger__BFLOSID13meadows_clifkevin_bollingercrunchenhancerAndrea507lovemydogduck
    IRONNUMA
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I had to pee so bad I could taste it, need to work on my aim...

    • 195
    • FAVS
    BadPatrick1PanicRestroomrebranded2quesingaoAnchoviesFostersamyokumTheBlacksmith_jackiesmithjuly
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    BaxterbixMrNickJCOneLastStranger__denaschmuckernato12939crunchenhancerlovemydogduckTheKenyan_
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Dr said if I take my meds you guys will all go away...

    • 171
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerjenajan22OneLastStranger__thereverendcinkhadafewbeersleahlovescheez
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerFrostPrincess94OneLastStranger__KandistorIddieRymincrunchenhancerlovemydogduckCiataich
    SunnyNeutrino
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Stevie Wonder smiles all the time cause he knows who farted....

    • 195
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerOneLastStranger__thereverendcinkhadafewbeersleahlovescheeziGreenMonk
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerOneLastStranger__PseudoLib________mintygayboyraygt38bryce21aMotivatedMochaDirtMcTurd
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I bet Captain Crunch has wicked abs..

    • 163
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCLakeoconeebldrTheRedDogInnerushurerxOneLastStranger__squirrel74wkgnGrimCheefer420Teamshorty97
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    erushurerxbatsflywestOneLastStranger__leslie_allison7GrimCheefer420JayTheOkaySexySpainNightsdenaschmucker
    stacetoned
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Twitter is a hell of a drug...

    • 157
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCKittenMcKayOneLastStranger__thereverendcinkhadafewbeersleahlovescheeztheefartsmellernayomeewallace
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerOneLastStranger__PullOutForWhat_PrettyGirl98firecatdaddyTheGreatMiltiniAlizabethAnne13KingAlyssa18
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    When I hear anything to do with Amsterdam, I automatically think.....POT IS LEGAL THERE!!!

    • 157
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCOneLastStranger__denaschmuckerthereverendcinkSgraham231hadafewbeersleahlovescheez72RICH72
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    OneLastStranger__denaschmuckersensei_waruiwrongwaybennettKimberlyABettesDirtMcTurdcrunchenhancerSaldanaEmiliano
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Took egg salad to work. Operation Ass Bomb is a go....

    • 160
    • FAVS
    kuhncatsCnlAngusAnchoviesFostersamyokumjackiesmithjulyskremineaglesergeantself36MrNickJC
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    anna_nicolletteskremineagleMrNickJCbrayomatoyaOneLastStranger__denaschmuckerilikeurhairdosharkies3
    3sheeter
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Elephant's sex organs are in their feet. They step on you, you're fucked....

    • 153
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerBlueFeet_BadLuckPriieOneLastStranger__hadafewbeersRiley55Tim
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerBhagwanmotiyaniOneLastStranger__MSWard52naalayak_dudet0759KeliKirbydhirajambure
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Taylor Swift gave her acceptance speech & "This song is for someone in here, u know who u are" 20 guys shrugged their shoulders...#VMA2013

    • 76
    • FAVS
    denaschmuckerthereverendcinkleahlovescheezDumbConfessionscrunchenhancerSaldanaEmilianoskylab203lovemydogduck
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerSaldanaEmilianolovemydogduckTheKenyan_LisNicker66LivenLearn_7711RobotSexbotShaunRightNow
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I bet there was one assbag when Lincoln was assassinated that went "SHHHHHHH!!"

    • 132
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCLakeoconeebldrOneLastStranger__denaschmuckerthereverendcinkhadafewbeersleahlovescheezBownuggets
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    asianlizardOneLastStranger__denaschmuckerPaul_kinyaLifesonLeePeartKimberlyABettesDirtMcTurdnicholeb74
    Doyle_McLain
@tpurvis06

@tpurvis06

Been called the Shock Jock of twitter, but hang around, bet u say wtf??