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  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.

    • 860
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchasdfsemiarios77emceejTheRealRHBjeffrhoodVenusRockHobbit
    • 644
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchasdfsemiemceejVelvet_SteeleVenusRockHobbitWaterLilyDreamsohmyadder
    abrosenthalGroperClevelandwesjohnson8JiminyKicksItShaunRightNowLisabug74
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Did it hurt when you fell out the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down??....

    • 554
    • FAVS
    riverpig12emceejpugvibesvancitybarbieTheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitTangyToastchuycisneros74
    • 334
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12vancitybarbieTheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitlipzter420chuycisneros74tiz71bjcopas
    joshingsternPointBroke________IRONNUMA
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I dated a midget once...I was nuts over her...

    • 550
    • FAVS
    riverpig12pugvibesericboveBumpnthenightTheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitTangyToastPanicRestroom
    • 309
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12LoudnAliveTheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitIamJickzsheellbiiBaxterbixBenStauffer_
    WonderMonkey78ShaunRightNowcurlymalloyruslg1
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    How does anything get done at the bubble wrap factory.....??

    • 495
    • FAVS
    riverpig12ericboveTheRealRHBTweetsByTheTonyVenusRockHobbitTangyToastSocial_Mimemaggiespitler
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12TheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitjmccourt30AmyMichelle1407Social_MimeffraskyRare_JadeFire
    byronblurb
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    If men had periods our commercials would be awesome...

    • 397
    • FAVS
    riverpig12NASTYBOYTATERTheRealRHBVenusRockHobbitTangyToastprotolaliaCassiaLStive333
    • 289
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12ShaunRightNowMrSamookVenusRockHobbitprotolaliabjcopasjmccourt30Social_Mime
    BCSkimiBlayne
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Our sex was so good the other night I noticed my gf's toes were curled, then I realized I hadn't blown her up completely...

    • 418
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchVenusRockHobbitTangyToastBadPatrick1rebranded2MomentsOfScottDanteAmerigo
    • 200
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchnannystephVenusRockHobbitMrNickJCmichaelmoreno63david_tullDonkeyJohnson
    jeffreyvanclea1mr_no_pants
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    When someone asks me "Are you stupid or something", I always pick "something", cause it could be nachos or a fuzzy kitty...

    • 360
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchohnoColeicingonzacakeVenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCDonkeyJohnson
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchShaunRightNowicingonzacakeVenusRockHobbitDonkeyJohnsonfavstar_historydenaschmucker
    FirawesomeKritzwit
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green......

    • 348
    • FAVS
    riverpig12VenusRockHobbitTangyToastphenabolisfrankuptightohmyadderdbgindyramonelboyd
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12VenusRockHobbitphenabolisverbstMommy_FabCassiaLSocial_MimeDonkeyJohnson
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I liked Skrillex back when he was called "AOL Dial-up"...

    • 275
    • FAVS
    chimpchillacrunchenhancerGregMysticMayordrugsandbonersVenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCsquirrel74wkgn
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    PerfectHandleShaunRightNowTheRealBoowipchimpchillaSPEAKEASY2crunchenhancerVenusRockHobbitdenaschmucker
    adambation
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    My 5yr old farted by me on the couch. I said,what are you supposed to say? She said, wasn't' me......Fucking awesome..

    • 258
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchsailormoonie135blazerchickieVenusRockHobbitTangyToastKalaeb_SLwhittenhart
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12VenusRockHobbitbenittto6Favstar250tiz71bjcopasSocial_Mimedenaschmucker
    IRONNUMA
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Dr said if I take my meds you guys will all go away...

    • 181
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchcathe05rinaHoneypie420outofink54bobw1oDustin_199speknyc
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchHennie___ShaunRightNowHoneypie420outofink54speknycVenusRockHobbit
    SunnyNeutrino
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I had to pee so bad I could taste it, need to work on my aim...

    • 199
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kikdbakbitchVenusRockHobbitTangyToastBadPatrick1PanicRestroomrebranded2quesingao
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12VenusRockHobbitBaxterbixMrNickJCOneLastStrangerdenaschmuckernato12939crunchenhancer
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Stevie Wonder smiles all the time cause he knows who farted....

    • 198
    • FAVS
    BareChestyVenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerOneLastStrangerthereverendcink
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitdenaschmuckerOneLastStrangerPseudoLib________mintygayboyraygt38bryce21aMotivatedMocha
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I bet Captain Crunch has wicked abs..

    • 169
    • FAVS
    riverpig12kriisteenleeeegreggoodman77VenusRockHobbit_theigirlTangyToastMrNickJCLakeoconeebldr____
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12greggoodman77ShaunRightNowVenusRockHobbiterushurerxbatsflywestOneLastStrangerleslie_allison7
    stacetoned
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Twitter is a hell of a drug...

    • 161
    • FAVS
    greggoodman77ParentpainsVenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCKittenMcKayOneLastStrangerthereverendcink
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowdenaschmuckerOneLastStrangerPullOutForWhat_PrettyGirl98firecatdaddyTheGreatMiltiniAlizabethAnne13
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    When I hear anything to do with Amsterdam, I automatically think.....POT IS LEGAL THERE!!!

    • 159
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCOneLastStrangerdenaschmuckerthereverendcinkSgraham231hadafewbeers
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    PerfectHandlei_phreakShaunRightNowOneLastStrangerdenaschmuckersensei_waruiwrongwaybennettKimberlyABettes
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Took egg salad to work. Operation Ass Bomb is a go....

    • 164
    • FAVS
    riverpig12jakeCBR600fVenusRockHobbitazure017kuhncatsCnlAngusAnchoviesFostersamyokum
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12ShaunRightNowVenusRockHobbitanna_nicolletteskremineagleMrNickJCbrayomatoyaOneLastStranger
    3sheeter
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Elephant's sex organs are in their feet. They step on you, you're fucked....

    • 157
    • FAVS
    riverpig12eDeepikaVenusRockHobbitTangyToastMrNickJCsquirrel74wkgndenaschmuckerBlueFeet_
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    riverpig12ShaunRightNowVenusRockHobbitdenaschmuckerBhagwanmotiyaniOneLastStrangerMSWard52naalayak_dude
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    I bet there was one assbag when Lincoln was assassinated that went "SHHHHHHH!!"

    • 135
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbit_theigirlTangyToastMrNickJCLakeoconeebldr____OneLastStrangerdenaschmuckerthereverendcink
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitasianlizardOneLastStrangerdenaschmuckerPaul_kinyaLifesonLeePeartKimberlyABettesDirtMcTurd
    Doyle_McLain
  • tpurvis06
      TK-8028 @tpurvis06

    Taylor Swift gave her acceptance speech & "This song is for someone in here, u know who u are" 20 guys shrugged their shoulders...#VMA2013

    • 78
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitTangyToastdenaschmuckerthereverendcinkleahlovescheezDumbConfessionscrunchenhancerSaldanaEmiliano
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    denaschmuckerSaldanaEmilianolovemydogduckTheKenyan_LisNicker66LivenLearn_7711RobotSexbotShaunRightNow
@tpurvis06

@tpurvis06
Pro

Been called the Shock Jock of twitter, but hang around, bet u say wtf??