Saying nevermind when you’re just too lazy to re-explain the whole story.

<------------ Not for the weak of heart.

You can totally track my moods via my tumblr. Today is tipsy and horny. Snort.

YOU'VE BEEN....THUNDASTRUCK!!!!!! ☁⚡ @sarahgarthvader @adawson_7

There's a slow leak in my bucket list.

If your name is a number we can't be friends.
I don't need any 10th grade math flashbacks.

I'm bored. Who wants to start a new religion or something?

I dream about you guys. I swear I'm not psycho tho. Well, not super psycho, anyway.

Go home, country and hip hop music collaborations. You're drunk.

I sometimes suspect I don't make a lasting impression.

Time to separate the girls from the women.

And the World Biggest Dumbass Award goes to... THIS GUY pic.twitter.com/90w16Noqiv

Why did I pick out the cat that drools.

Of course I love you, baby. Just keep RTing my tweets & working that 2nd job so you can afford to fly out here & rub my feet.

<------- changed my pic since Steve, my bike, is the only thing I ride these days #ProjectGetLaid

My Tupperware lids and lost socks are hanging out, mocking me, I'm sure.

Your pepper spray tastes like a dinner invitation, baby.

Meg Ryan's mailbox is Tom Hanks' head trying to snap her hand. Who buys a mailbox like that?

Getting some D... My vitamin D prescription, you pervs.

Great sex should be rewarded with more great sex.....10 minutes later.