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Question: "Why aren't AK-47s banned?" Romney: "Just get married before you have a baby. Thank you."
In ten years, the Kodak Theatre will be renamed the Instagram Theatre.
BREAKING: Supreme Court rules CNN bad at journalism.
We found love in a Hostess Cake.
PLEASE RT and help find my buddy who is missing at SXSW!!!! He's a skinny white guy with a brown beard. Last seen in plaid and some Clarks.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you could still teach High School Theater.
MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED BABY SHOWER
Todd Akin is proof that not every human life is precious.
LA Twitter is all about money but New York Twitter is for the love of the craft.
A BRIEF PLAY: "I was the guy in Staind." "So you don't have your rent check?"
"If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman." -Someone who is already crazy
Yahoo is merging with AOL. It's just like that time Beepers merged with Laser Disc.
The iPhone 5 comes with an amazing app that stops America from talking about a coordinated attack on its embassy.
Taylor Swift scribbling down lyrics to a new song about Adele.
SPOILER ALERT: Katy Perry dies at the end.
Just celebrated Chick Fil-A Appreciation Day! Enjoyed a Bigotry Burger, Hetereonormativity Fries, and a Segregation Shake!
LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN
For a limited time only, come on down to Exxon for Pumpkin Spice Unleaded!
Writer, comedian, and future disgraced congressman. Buy my play 'Hanksylvania' here: http://bit.ly/IaKVSV