Why Can't I Find Out Anything About This Superb Owl #superbowl

*staring at a hot dude's bod* Nice abs, queer. You got a cool big ass, u fuckin fag. Fuckin homo, with your strong, gay muscles.

*Cracks Diet Pepsi* Ahh...Refreshing Diet Peppi *Slowly Sips, Then Gulps, The Diet Pappo** Ahh, Diet Parpo. Thank's To The Papor-Colla Corp.

I feel like shit and i hate myself <-- CAN ANYBODY RELATE TO THIS??? ANYBODY/??? ON THE INTERNET?????

*knocks on door* Mrs Smith? I'm from Army. Your son got owned in Iraq. He showed great valor in the face of epic fail. Semper fi or whatecer

wow what did ppl do before long sleeves and long pants were invented. probly froze or starved. I hate the past :( thats where Hitler is from

Wash My Clothes? just to get them Dirty again???? **attaches forehead to industrial oscillator, flips it on, SMH at 100,000 kHz**

I strive to be like the ant, noble, virtuous, constantly at war with everything in the world around me

"God is a ghost who haunts us through death. We merely survive in this Kakfaesque hellscape," I thought as I stood over the bathtub, peeing.

Reverse bike theft: find a chained bicycle; slap on a second lock. Stride off into new pedestrian future

Sir? The intensive porpoises are here. They say you have something for them. Yes, all of them

wait, did you say you study the han dynasty or the handy nasty

Dear sir: A concerned citizen has reported you for eating the gross little ass-nib of your banana on 11/2/11. You are sentenced to death.

#replacebandnameswithpancakes I killed my neibhor Todd Hollis with an ax and put his body in pig farm. Never caught. This is my confession

OMFG... JUST NOTICED THIS WACK ASS UNIVERSE IS TOTALLY OUTSIDE OF MY BODY> RT IF YOUR DERMIS SEPARATES YOU FROM A COLD, UNFEELING INFINITY

Analysis reveals that just one Four Loko contains the equivalent of 3 Four Lokos

if you can steal a cop's badge you become the cop #LittleKnownLaws

merry prembus everyborty. or happy hakunamata if your jewish. let us gether round the prembus tree exchange gifts from sunter klaps.

Wow, so they were looking for the third pig all day? Crazy...anyway, my senior prank was Columbine

try to hail a cab but accidentally hailed Satan