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It's a small world, so be careful with your fireworks.
You guys know where I can get more gumption? No? k. sorry. bye.
I'm not hungry, I'll just have a bite of yours
*eats everything on your plate*
Never allow loneliness to drive you into being with someone that you know isn't right for you.
McDonald's for dinner for the first time in over a year. Suprisingly satisfying in a spur-of-the-moment, why-the-hell-not kinda way.
"WHAT IF THERE'S A FIRE AND I NEED SOCKS IN A HURRY? WHAT THEN WOMAN? SOCKS GO ON THE LEFT!!!"
I'm a little anal about my underwear drawer.
"I no longer give a fuck
WHAT they are wearing on the red carpet"
Nothing like shoveling snow to remind you to live somewhere else.
"I'm sorry he's not available to take your call. His phone is being used to video me sucking his cock."
Piss the fuck off with your lettuce wrap hippie nonsense.
You make me wish Listerine made douches.
Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs.
When contemplating getting a cat, does that give you reason to paws for thought?
If you really wanted to terrorize the Mall of America, you'd put the people shopping there on 1500 calorie a day diet.
There's so many varieties of apples nowadays that I'm starting to wonder if Doritos bought the rights.
I said this movie makes me feel old and my husband said you are.
Life would be better if Alanis Morisette married Rick Moranis.
Explict Content. Do not follow if under the age of 18. No follow holla's. No 4Sq. Get off my porch.
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