Pretty sure I just saw Randy Jackson eating at the pizza hut inside target.

Don't you guys just hate it when that girl from my english class has her facebook photos set to private?

Just threw caution to the wind and put like 8 ice cubes in my water. It's going to be SO FUCKING COLD you guys!!!!!

Anyone know if there's a scene after the credits of Ghetto Cumbuckets 4?

Am I seriously the only one in this Taco Bell who's going to face Mecca and pray right now?

This is the time of year when I really start to miss Toyotathon.

Why can't I find any nude fakes of the mom from That 70s Show?

Don't forget to watch Gut-Men on tlc tonight in which my team and I clean out the gutters of a 9/11 victim's family.

Super Bowl Super Bowl Super Bowl. BUT WHO'S GONNA LIVE TWEET MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS?

Apparently That 70s Show is way worse when I'm paying attention to it.

Don't have any plans for summer yet, but I guess I'll masturbate once or twice?

Getting stuck on elevators used to be way cooler before M. Night Shyamalan got involved.

"Sure, this job sucks. But at least 20 years from now I can call in to morning radio shows and answer trivia questions"- my dad 20 years ago

Thinking about becoming a spinal dermatologist just for the "No skin off my back!" jokes.

What's everyone's favorite Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch album?

Getting an instagram but only gonna follow Diet Pepsi

rice

I studied abroad in italy lol! College lol!!!

Okay okay, we get it ESPN. But WHO does Donald Trump think is gonna win the Super Bowl?

The next X-Men should be called X-Men: Class Dismissed and it's all about how Wolverine beats Magneto in a rap battle.