@kirbyslefteye "I'm looking for a jersey." "Which player?" "Mee." "So a custom jersey." "No. Mee." #WhosOnFirst

@yugiohtas Creator of Duel Monsters losing his temper? #ChillPegasus

@jonmbauer Your use of the word "logic" gives these people far more credit than they deserve.

Remember back in 07 when we mocked Boston for "overreacting" to the bomb scare caused by those Aqua Teen LEDs? This is why they overreact.

@craigcalcaterra Billy Butler to father an actual Royal. Admits he is hoping for a male to maintain the order of succession.

@jonmbauer Next Up: Apple will trademark a means of gaining access to a four sided construct. #iDoor

God I hope Lew Ford sticks it to the Yankees while Torii Hunter has no choice but to sit at home and watch. #karma

@commnman @kirbyslefteye It's not even mocking. You try to talk to these people and get nothing but frothing hatred in return.

@bill_tpa "You can't script October!"* *(unless you force the drama of a one-game playoff on us every season)

@kirbyslefteye BREAKING NEWS: The #Twins are "stuck" with one of the vest hitters in baseball. #BOOMAUER

@bill_tpa I would argue that being upset with the #FirstWorldProblems meme is the most first-worldiest problem of all.

There is a hilarious irony in somebody calling themselves @fabtasticbieber telling kids to get off Twitter. #PotMeetKettle

Critics bash Nintendo for milking Smash Bros, point to Microsoft and Sony as still having fresh IPs in Killzone and Halo. #LOLZ

@kirbyslefteye On behalf of all humanity, thank you. And her. Also her.

@jonmbauer "TRANSFORM AND ROLLOUT!", Rosebud shouted as she grew into a massive robot.

@cnnvideo @joncanttweet Could it be Atlantis? Alert the Stonecutters at once!

What happened to my marriage license? I left it in this safe deposit box...but now there's nothing but dust!

@commnman @mikegianella @sbnationmlb So you won't be watching the game. I guess you and Angel Hernandez have something in common after all.

@jonmbauer And nothing of value was lost.

@jonmbauer How is it any more offensive than "Human Resources"? Implying we're all just a thing that is mined, used up, and disposed of.