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Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Knees and Toes.
A happy relationship consists of two good forgivers.
Tightening my belt around my hips where your hands are missing.
Can I just leave my heart with you tonight?
I'm more than just an option.
Stop trying to bond with me.
Me: hey, I swallow. Boy: Omg me too. Me: Uggg gay boy problems
No matter what I might say, I ain't missing you at all.
I'm blind, I'm deaf, I want to be a World Cup ref.
There is no wrong side of the tracks.
I could totally get stuff done right now but another Law and Order SVU just came on.
You know those things people have? Careers? So lame. Who knows what they want to do at 18, 26... 40?
Don't mess with me and my bingo hour!
I just want to watch porn. I have no desire to meet busty Russians in my area.
Tip: please don't flirt with me at a McDonald's while I'm with a special needs kid. I'm working...
No one has been more of a dreamer and less of a doer than I. I don't believe in evil, I believe in ignorance.