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  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    stupid goldfish. he just used his little jedi mind trick & made me feed him without even knowing. & i really wanted that cheeseburger, too

    • 130
    • FAVS
    loafy_BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuTHEDUTHCHESSPortRoosterTristradamusKizerBillhelmMagoosback
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    loafy_PeaceInTruth1ShaiLilDevilZac4RTshkeeberMagoosbackEric_Bader________sc_vaughn
    Carmel_ColemanBulldog0613
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    debating whether I should put half a tank of gas in the car or buy Favstar's Bonus Features

    • 116
    • FAVS
    BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuTroyWidner________BenjyHimmelKizerBillhelmBeerhazeEagle_Visiontgizak
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    BarDogDaveShaiLilDevilshkeeberEagle_VisionBulldog0613My_Ego_Alteredteddywahfavstar1000favs
    schaeffyquake
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Is there an eloquent way of listing yourself as an "amateur favstar tweeter who couldnt get retweeted to save his ass" on your resume?

    • 84
    • FAVS
    BarDogDave9DaysOldshkeeberMagoosbackDanKCharnleyBlotterMonkeyEloymaniaryaninco
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    BarDogDavetgizakBulldog0613colnickfury______GiddythefuckupEric_Bader________ExploringUrMindBlackGodSon______
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Ok have fun surfing The Twitter!


    - Mom trying too hard.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22BeerhazeEagle_VisionDanKCharnleyBlotterMonkeyBulldog0613ryanincocolnickfury______
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    stresswreckordsGiddythefuckupAsianLinesZeyductionEric_Bader________shkeeberpoetrypersuazhnFavstar500Favs
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Nothing kills the mood faster than a bisexual goldfish staring at u from across the room while ur trying to rub one out.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    loafy_BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuBeamishBoiTDeeRocksteveeuryAustin_Haynes3DHand4
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    loafy__meg_jsteveeuryshkeeberRidiculousJimmyFavstar_NSFWBlackGodSon______ParaJanitor
    stephvelander
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    my cat thinks I can't see her throwing gang signs at the birds outside the window

    • 52
    • FAVS
    MagoosbackCelebrityChezMy_Ego_AlteredDanKCharnleyryanincocolnickfury______GiddythefuckupGundawindi
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    MagoosbackMy_Ego_AlteredFavstar500Favscolnickfury______davekunz8787wicce_podgestephvelanderbowa_dmb
    My_Ego_Altered
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    For Halloween I'm putting my house on the sex offender registry list of homes. Keep those lil shits away!

    • 55
    • FAVS
    shishiwakamakushkeeberDanKCharnleyBulldog0613AustinJankowiakcolnickfury______Giddythefuckupstephvelander
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar_NSFWcratescienzPippersheenstephvelanderAglaea_bucmachineDarlindartxBlackGodSon______
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    My 100% off coupon by staying home trumps any craft store's 51% off coupon. Suck it, craft stores!

    • 54
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyryanincocolnickfury______KariBKari13GiddythefuckupstephvelanderteddywahEric_Bader________
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    KariBKari13Favstar500FavsstephvelanderGuitarmacistChefBoredRTs
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    I sure hope someone at work tomorrow will be glad it's Friday.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleycolnickfury______Giddythefuckupteddywahlakeanagirlgirl_in_my_boxt0shibazachheltzel
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Kritzwitroadkill3xNewDaddyGiftsPORNOPINION
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    That stuff gets everywhere!

    - prostitute at the corner flossing her teeth.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    shishiwakamakuDanKCharnleyGiddythefuckupstephvelanderteddywahgot_heeemcolnickfury______Eric_Bader________
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    stephvelandercolnickfury______Eric_Bader________SpiderogerSaraESpiveylife_sucker
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    5 days since I put up this bird feeder & no birds. Gonna put up a "FREE BIRD SEED" sign & hope The RoadRunner doesn't show up & eat it all!

    • 34
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyBulldog0613colnickfury______GiddythefuckupteddywahHarryOrganEric_Bader________girl_in_my_box
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Eric_Bader________ameo02DudeImShawnTattooedMiseryPeaceInTruth1
    DudeImShawn
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    I think this weekend I'm going to the Comic Con and setting up a booth as a "Non-Virgin." Autographs and speeches will surely ensue.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuDanKCharnleycolnickfury______Giddythefuckupteddywaht0shibazachheltzel
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TheBigBatman______SpiderogerEric_Bader________
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Saw this Asian daddy at the gym, and much to my surprise, his privates weren't all pixelated or blurred when he got naked!

    • 33
    • FAVS
    BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuMy_Ego_Alteredcolnickfury______Giddythefuckupt0shibazachheltzelawescar
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    colnickfury______SpiderogerCruelMeiga
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Wisdom Tweet:
    3 people having sex = threesome.
    2 people having sex = twosome.
    Now I know why they call me handsome.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    BarDogDaveshishiwakamakuMagoosbackMy_Ego_AlterederikvalenzoSuparbad__________TheTweetingZedWhite__Bait
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    BarDogDavedragonbloodUponaRocc_Zikazekysvil3ac1265janettejailedt0shiba
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    My preachy neighbor upstairs said I forget the true meaning of Christmas. So, for the holidays I'm nailing her to a pine tree with lights.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    colnickfury______Giddythefuckupt0shibazachheltzelVerifiedDrunkiAmJuddyfuzziestnadsMuath_tu__________
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    colnickfury______SpiderogerMccoySunshineIdStandOnThatLactatinLithium__RogueGod
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Got an unsweetened iced tea from McDonalds & now I'm questioning the meaning of MY life.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    My_Ego_AlteredBulldog0613colnickfury______Giddythefuckupt0shibazachheltzelBlackGodSon______TheLastVirgo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    BlackGodSon______jaagermistressBernaVig__________ryaninco
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    There's the people who hate Mondays, and the people who make other people hate Mondays. I'm surrounded by the 2nd half of that group.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    My_Ego_AlteredGiddythefuckuplakeanagirlt0shibazachheltzelawescarVerifiedDrunkOncefallen________
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    My_Ego_Altered
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Oh yay. Best Buy's offering free shipping if you pick it up at the store.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    BarDogDaveMagoosbackBulldog0613colnickfury______KariBKari13t0shibazachheltzelBlackGodSon______
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveyTattooedMiseryPeaceInTruth1
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    Never seen anyone I could call "powerful gay" till I saw the guy selling me Skittles at the theater.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    shishiwakamakuMy_Ego_AlteredGiddythefuckupt0shibazachheltzelBlackGodSon______9DaysOldVerifiedDrunk
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    BlackGodSon______RogueGod
  • tuffhawl
      TuffHawl @tuffhawl

    The apartment is friggin cold! How long before I can declare my balls legally missing?

    • 27
    • FAVS
    MagoosbackMy_Ego_AlteredGiddythefuckupt0shibazachheltzelVerifiedDrunkMuath_tu__________Oncefallen________
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Spideroger
@tuffhawl

@tuffhawl

Redneck Mexican. Elbow fetish porn soundtrack composer. Solosexual virgin sex-addict guy.