low self-esteem punk.

Some bunch of dead liberals gave me the right to vote. :c #RepubGirlProbz

Imagine a chubby kid on rollerblades covered head to toe in pads, rolling down the street at a glacier pace & screaming. That was 90s for me

Here's my snarky, tongue-in-cheek, sorta racist acoustic cover of a hip hop song. What? No, I've never been punched.

A sitcom starring Donald, Danny and Crispin Glover as single dudes trying to find romance, titled Gimmie All Your Glovin'.

robert_downey_jr_riding_a_tiny_pony.wmv

Ayn Rand: Sith? An objective analysis.

One time my dad gave me a very long lecture for not knowing a ZZ Top album title.

When Bruce Willis dies, they'll just film his funeral & call it "Died Hard".

My town is attempting a comic con & the top guest is my coworker's estranged husband who's been an extra in Walking Dead.

Alright Totinos Party Pizza, lets get ~CRAAAAZY~

....More like Han YOLO. *receives nobel peace prize*

*puts personal massager on butt* I like dudes now...

"This is combo number 5" - Lou Bega serving up orders at Burger King.

@therealeddavis It a'int easy bein' green/know what I mean?/I roll up in the club and make them swine hoes scream

Graduates of the Ron Paul Homeschool Program will receive a fedora and trenchcoat as their cap-and-gown.

I really want Kanye's ''huh'' noise as my notification sound.

RIP Seth McFarlane, stung to death by transgender wasps. So brave, so un-pc. you will be missed. #RIPseth

@therealeddavis *smacks a wrench on the hood of my car, leaving lots dents* TRUKCS! TORQUE! HORESPOWER! HEMIIIIIII!!!!

Smh if you aren't still up at 5:30 am playing the sax hook to "Careless Whisper" on a kazoo.