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My PMS literally eats him alive. I mean me, eats me alive.
Trying to make me crazy isn't going to work. I already have a straight jacket for every day of the week.
It's a shame I hate you now, I never wanted to.
I can't talk business but I sure can talk about blowjobs.
If you want a blowjob, the time is THIS glass of wine.
Let me use your dick as a lipstick.
Just because you're short doesn't mean you're a pixie. Grow your hair bitch. Now strangle yourself with it.
If I had a pretty body I'd fuck strangers.
I'll stalk you right into your porn days.
My cervix simply cannot take another beating so fold your dick half darling.
The more porn you watch, the more you realize anyone can be a porn star.
Sending dirty photos to your crush at the wrong time of day is like a Monday.
I only wear high heels so I'm closer to your mouth.
My eyes say no but my body says yes.
Go ahead, put on your best porn.
I put the lot in Merlot.
Having a mug of wine and suddenly realize the maid is still here. FML
If you can't be anything, be a freak.
Nobody likes an actual slut, just a slutty mind.