Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?
Someone just gave me a candy bar. I think I'll eat half now and save the other half for a minute from now.
I can't quote it verbatim, but the mimes have a saying that goes something like this:
I never win at Scrable.
Facebook is adding a video chat feature. Finally, I may be able to get visual proof that Becky is tired.
Subway sandwiches increase in value after the sandwich artist dies.
I'm not saying your dumb. I'm saying you're dumb.
"Seems like there is never a way." ~ Jose
Infinity doesn't end well.
Nothing screams sophistication like the "Rrrrip" of a Velcro wallet.
I'm not saying the Internet at this hotel is slow but if you're reading this tweet, it's likely 2016.
The official mineral of Twitter is amirite.
"I heard a Coldplay song on the radio today. " ~ Guy with no fingers
"I'll be back" --Arnold Schwarzenegger as getting into a 2-person horse costume
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
It's always a good idea to leave a little extra room in your garbage can in case someone gives you a Coldplay CD.
I just drank a fifth of bacon.
You're supposed to wash arugula before throwing it away, right?
I finally had my first 50 star tweet.
The worst thing about getting hit in the face with Pi is it never ends.
I have stagefright and a bottle of scotch