Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?
Someone just gave me a candy bar. I think I'll eat half now and save the other half for a minute from now.
I never win at Scrable.
I can't quote it verbatim, but the mimes have a saying that goes something like this:
Facebook is adding a video chat feature. Finally, I may be able to get visual proof that Becky is tired.
Subway sandwiches increase in value after the sandwich artist dies.
I'm not saying your dumb. I'm saying you're dumb.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
"Seems like there is never a way." ~ Jose
Infinity doesn't end well.
Nothing screams sophistication like the "Rrrrip" of a Velcro wallet.
The official mineral of Twitter is amirite.
I'm not saying the Internet at this hotel is slow but if you're reading this tweet, it's likely 2016.
"I heard a Coldplay song on the radio today. " ~ Guy with no fingers
"I'll be back" --Arnold Schwarzenegger as getting into a 2-person horse costume
It's always a good idea to leave a little extra room in your garbage can in case someone gives you a Coldplay CD.
You're supposed to wash arugula before throwing it away, right?
I just drank a fifth of bacon.
The worst thing about getting hit in the face with Pi is it never ends.
I finally had my first 50 star tweet.