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  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Is it ghetto to order pizza to a bar?

    • 28
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinTheCamelToe_silent_musingsqueenbs88IamtherictorSadAndDrunkZenGunnBoyCalledAnn
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    IamtherictorBoyCalledAnnogcholaaaronasellarsmrtruthandsoulDatBarberCanCuttpurvis06My_Ego_Altered
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    In regards to looks, the elephant animal cracker REALLY got screwed over.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinsilent_musingsSadAndDrunkZenGunnBoyCalledAnnC3Ballin__Fredzipfelroadkill3x
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    BoyCalledAnnmrtruthandsoulmissterfbyronblurb
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Can't wait to graduate and get a job so I can finally afford the bonus features on favstar.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinRipperReedZenGunnBoyCalledAnngmossiiadambationTheLastVirgoStoicRounin
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    BoyCalledAnnStoicRouninHallpassCanada
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    IT'S NOT FAIR!!! When guys lose weight, their penises grow. Why does our boobs have to shrink!?!

    • 11
    • FAVS
    StoicRouninFredzipfelDatBarberCanCutExploringUrMindJasonMata1My_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbKevinDeanGander
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    B3utifulgirlsOctobers__Own
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Creepy old lady just gave me the mean stare-down as she slowly drove by. So naturally, I flashed her.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinmlkefFredzipfelDatBarberCanCutExploringUrMindMy_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbKevinDeanGander
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Officially a college graduate! & got my mother fuckin hipflask!!! Whooooooo!

    • 8
    • FAVS
    Bob_HellerStoicRouninFredzipfelExploringUrMindPaulsy01__________CalhounMBPulse_NYCHallpassCanada
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    HallpassCanadaTheMayan
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Some guy forgot his iPad. There was an app to track what I'm assuming is his wife's or girlfriend's period. Smart man.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinFredPollackbitchtabulousFredzipfelMy_Ego_Alteredbyronblurblemmywinklerkevnasto
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Fredzipfelkevnasto
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Since I already know I'm going to hell, I just hope the Devil opens his arms proudly.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinStoicRouninFredzipfelparruchkinwcstrife__________the_moonfacewicce_podgemutuallyobvious__
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mutuallyobvious__
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    I'm tired of cutting children's food. Fisher Price needs to hurry up and get on "baby's first steak-knife."

    • 9
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinFredzipfelparruchkinFarFromFunnyMy_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbMidgetsparhookmeupinit
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    I think Barney has been the only show with a token deaf kid. What a trailblazer.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    FredzipfelExploringUrMindKariBKari13My_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbKevinDeanGanderWetzelGeeknemoflakes
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Octobers__Own
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Is unopened, bootlegged, expired pedialyte from 3yrs ago usable? Asking for a sick child or a hungover person- whoever gets a faster answer

    • 6
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinStoicRouninFredPollackbitchtabuloussarahz81__________Fredzipfel
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Fredzipfel
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Thanks to that guy and his bath salts, my wish finally may be coming true! http://t.co/1rLjNWOf

    • 3
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinStoicRouninCVTBaby
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    StoicRouninandykweegafatimahohhOctobers__Own
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Which is more more of a compliment, referring to someone as an "asshole" or a "mother fucker?"

    • 6
    • FAVS
    FredzipfelMindUndefinedndaryn1My_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbWetzelGeek
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    My_Ego_Altered
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Even I don't understand half the shit I say...

    • 7
    • FAVS
    Fredzipfelbyronblurbrokken_angelKKAlThaniCaptainObtusehookmeupinitTime4Depression
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    I wish convos in real-life could be limited to 140 characters- then we could fish out the bullshit & get to the damn point faster!

    • 4
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinFredzipfelogcholajustkozy
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    poiema_johnogchola
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Nothing's worse than waiting for someone to show up with the food.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    StoicRouninFredzipfellejessicaviethamoShaneezaAlli
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Paulsy01__________
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Sadly, the highlight of my dreams last night was that I found 3 free icecream bars at the bottom of the vending machine.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    FredzipfelMy_Ego_AlteredbyronblurbnemoflakesGuyAdvisor
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Cinthyaacaceres
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Last nights bar: mechanical bull. Girls dancing on the bars. Bras & underwear on the ceiling. #EnoughSaid #RoundTwo

    • 6
    • FAVS
    FredzipfelbyronblurbKevinDeanGandernemoflakeslemmywinklercheese_n_bacon
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    Today's ghetto trophy goes to my co-worker, who's scraping mustard off a piece of paper with her pretzels.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    FredzipfelMy_Ego_AlteredbyronblurblemmywinklerComebackhead______
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    cheese_n_bacon
  • twiggy_p
      Jasmina!!! @twiggy_p

    "Panties" is such a gross/weird word.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Tacet_no_moreBrettOsinoffJoeMunstermanatDevinmyles_morrison
@twiggy_p

@twiggy_p

24. College grad. Science nerd. Dallas Cowboys. Family. Humor.