I'm glad I didn't go out yesterday, it was Monarchy out there...

I once had the misfortune of shaking a ketchup bottle in a restaurant that had a loose lid, Hilarity did not ensue..

To be free is to be unhinged, only then can you swing freely through the doorways of your mind,

#TVFood Play your Carbs Right

The Rapture has been postponed due to un-prophesied circumstances.

#Rapture

Fart and the whole world asphyxiates with you...

Tweeting on the toilet is no different than the birds singing in the trees and shitting on you car below...

"there are things badly wrong in our society" Cameron.

Yes and the greed started with Thatcher and the Tories. It's their legacy. #riots

If I was Egyptian I'd be like. "WTF IS ALL THIS EGYPTIAN SHIT."

I used to be intelligent, then twitter came along and made me belligerent.

THUP PUP PUP PUP PUP PUP PUP PUP…. #FartSounds

The frustration of #keratoconus is phenomenal at times, more so than occasional its something you have to live with every day for life

The three amigas #computerfilms

Is the Universe a poem of an individual?

Does the I always go through the rich man?

The meek have overwhelmed the elite.

The world turns.

The Fresh Prince of Bellend more like...

I have come to the conclusion that tweeting is best done up a tree in spring.

I showed everyone how much of a man I am.

Didn't anticipate the screams....

-40 | Jingle Balls Jingle Balls, Jingle and they'll spray, Oh what Fun it is to ride Stand along the way #christmasporn

I’m looking for a comic called Forces in Combat.
Issue 36 is what I’m after.
Anyone out there got it?
Please RT

It's bloody typical isn't it, pisses down all the time you have visitors from over the Irish Sea, and as soon as they are gone, BLINDING SUN