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May the odds be ever in my favor that the #HungerGamesDVD isn't sold out when I get to Target tonight.
I've been ignored by some of the most attractive people in the world.
the walking dead! the walking dead! the walking dead!
The worst place for me to be when I'm hungry is the cereal aisle. My cart looks like Hurricane Katrina. #trix #reesepuffs #capncrunch
just put my phone in the fridge. so that's cool. #toomuchweed?
if you're younger than 60 and you carry a used handkerchief, do not make eye contact with me. you haven't earned the privilege. #youwont
I wish "Red Lobster" was French for "Eat as much as possible," so I wouldn't feel bad about inhaling cheddar bay biscuits. #chubby #shame