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Sidney Crosby finally gets the IKEA Monkey off his back
"Hey Tyler why are you only lifting 15 pound weights?"
"Well there's a lady using the 20 pound ones!"
Bon Jovi's daughter is in the hospital for a heroin overdose. Her status has gone from Critical Condition to Livin' On a Prayer
I like how they cut down trees in the rainforests to make books then you buy them on Amazon
Girls on facebook, if I wanted to see you pregnant, I would have stuck around
Maple Leafs are auctioning off a toilet expected to go for over $60,000 which makes sense since it comes with their last 8 seasons in it
Seeing a bitter enemy pulled over by the cops and getting to smile at them like a shithead is a satisfaction best enjoyed in a small town
How come rape jokes get more press than actual rapes
I heard Alec Baldwin no longer wants to be famous. Maybe he should ask his brother's how to do that
Canada is so drunk right now about 10,000 people saw that goal and said "Take that Switzerland!"
Sometimes people make jokes about stuff you might get offended by. Too fucking bad. Comedians need to stop apologizing for making jokes
Award Winning Stand Up Comedian, Rock Star Entrepreneur, Creative Director of The Cottage Country Comedy Festival