Ravens Confetti snow angel  http://bit.ly/14KWBHy 

Doctor recommended I ease up on the drinks. I recommended a new doctor.

I hate when people try to be coy. Just be direct. Tell me what you want. If I want a fuckin' game, I'll play Monopoly. </rant>

Don Cornelius. Whitney Houston. Very sad Black History Month.

Skinny jeans for men = population control.

If I took all of the awkward moments out of my life, I'd have very little left over.

For Lent, I'm asking you to give up asking me what I'm giving up.

After more careful consideration, I will think of myself as "a morning person, as long as you leave me alone."

Love is...leaving the last piece of bacon.

It always kills me when a dude answers a "smash or pass" as if the person would allow your crusty ass near them.

RT @aristotlesnz: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet.
4yo: ..
Me: ..
4yo: ..
Me: ..
4yo: I don't have any other feet..
Me: Fair enough.

I was just asked to appear in some office photos cause I'm "diverse looking". I can't make this up.

Good morning, y'all. Carpe Diem. Carpe Coffee. Carpe Booty.

Thanks to social media, I know things I didn't want to learn about people who shouldn't be famous.

I need a vacation. From everything.

So...Jan Brewer was intimidated by Barack? I mean...is there a black man anywhere who isn't intimidating to someone? Get a grip.

You know what would *really* educate people about SOPA/PIPA? Take Google searches away for 24 hours.

Whenever my daughter wants a hug (which is about a million times a day), I remember what I see on Twitter, and make sure I hug her.

If you wear a bowtie, I can't take you seriously.

This Republican response needs a laugh track.