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coming out as a FAKE GEEK GIRL thats right i HATE video games and comic books but i LOOOOVE when mouth-breathing nerds hit on me! tricked u!
"Yeah, I tweet," she said. She looked away, took a long drag off her cigarette. "Whatever. It's like a thing."
fake geek girls: nerds believe babes will fake a hobby just to win the attention of the highly desirable "horrible manchild" population
i'm no expert on Life but i'm pretty sure everything is hard to do and bad
"How To Stop Bugs From Landing In YOur Hair" first page says "you cant" & the subsequent pages are all blank. written by: A BUg
*pulls up google* *maximizes font size* *turns towards girl next to me* *searches "how to stop someone from sitting next to you on a bench"*
a important guy with the iphone quacking ringtone said "i really have to take this call" today and i said very quietly "because it's a duck"
"sweet caroline" starts to skip at the bar, bros paralyzed shouting SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD at each other, eyes wide with terror
rain, rain / go away / i need coffee / its okay / sorry rain / that was rude / im just tired / how are you
BOY FACT: low-level boys can be banished by careful use of the phrase "period shits"
u wanna read these words? no? haha too late idiot. wow man u got a problem. u addicted to reading bro? wow cant stop can u. get some help.
sir, i believe we built this city on rock and roll- what do you mean it has basically no infrastructure?! what happened to the crazy train?!
if you leave youtube comments they should print a little booklet of all of those you've made when you die and hand it out at your funeral
hey babies if youre so cute and harmless and cant do anything then why do we have to keep you in cages with bars at night? your move babies
would u rathr watch a sport or hav sex on hot babe? "trick question both at once" u say quickly.The door swings open welcome to the man cave
love to do a sport. what position do i play? easy: thrower. next question. do i really love to play a sport? you betcha teamster
big thank you to all the miserable writers who taught my generation to say lovely, empty things that pass for profundity.
what if god was one of us / just a scrub like one of us / no, i don't want no scrubs
cool prank: the first time u get your period with a new boyfriend, just start screaming in the bathroom like u have no idea whats going on.