Dear @itsthesituation: if you're going to tell awful jokes that everyone hates, do it on Twitter like the rest of us. #tweetthejoke

Seeing many people bitching about Tokyo Disneyland trending. It's flooding. We're worried about the thousands and thousands of lives there.

If you play Justin Bieber backwards, you hear Satan screaming "Turn it off! Oh god, what did I do to deserve this punishment!"

Got a BluRay autographed by @nottjmiller in mail courtesy @tweetthejoke. Thanks! Now I just need to buy a BluRay player.

Dear @itsthesituation: if you're going to tell awful jokes that everyone hates, do it on Twitter like the rest of us. #trumproast

It's #InternationalWomensDay AND #FatTuesday. On Bourbon Street, does that mean twice the breasts or half?

I'd like to publicly thank @danieljcastle for making me laugh REALLY hard tonight. #FF if you're into that sort of thing.

Darn. I was hoping for a last-minute upset. Like MacGruber winning best Picture. #tweetthejoke

Photo: I needed this cartoon. http://tumblr.com/x1o1ltug4b

I must say that I don't know the meaning of fnern. @johncleese fans used it today, but even a Google search leaves me mystified.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Back to my PSP for a bit (not to be confused with PCP, which I've never played with).

When 900 years old you reach, poop this regularly you will not. #tweetthejoke http://t.co/4BB9xvy

@nondiplome Confucius say: It i wise to embrace your inner dork. For only then are you wise.

.@vazqueztyler 1. Make an account with a nom de plume. 2. tweet jokes, news, and Disney. 3. piss off 2/3 of followers with each tweet.

To my new followers: welcome. If you're here for the Disney, I also sometimes say naughty things. Clean me is at http://discot.net

Now that I've played with http://discot.net, I like it. Think Facebook for Disney fans (but without all the privacy problems Facebook has).

Check out @mousemag Issue 2 at http://is.gd/cnPvlh. Includes an article by yours truly! Proud to be a part.

Two guys walk into a bar, and something incredibly funny that you can't resist retweeting happens 167 characters later.

#supermoon doesn't look appreciatively larger, but it is noticably brighter tonight #ThatsWhatSheDidntSay

The email donation scams have begun. Ignore any emails asking for money for #Japan. Give directly. Here's how: http://abcn.ws/hwzVPg