I need a shower. And a beer. Oooo, shower beer!

To those who recommended Bulleit bourbon: you were totally right.

OH: Oooo, vagina tape!

I just broke Sheetz.  http://twitpic.com/cnewvr 

Same as the last one.  http://instagram.com/p/Yl7_X7vCY2/ 

Beat this, other cities.  http://instagram.com/p/Yl7aQovCYB/ 

Hell hath no fury like a Pittsburgh fan scorned.

My #pcbw story, featuring video appearances by @pubmariner, @uncapd and Andy Rich. Cheers, yinz guys:  http://www.timesonline.com/community/news/pittsburgh-craft-beer-week-returns----and-beaver/article_b5bf9448-7dc3-5a01-865a-76c41b493750.html …

We just got this missing dog flyer at our house. Please RT, especially if you have North Side friends. http://t.co/56ogRiUj

@pantster It's not the apocalypse unless Jim Cantore is doing a live shot from your front yard.

Rill dill.

Seriously? I live here? <3  http://twitpic.com/cm5ukl 

.@pgh_beerweek + @helltownbrewing = greatest #asistradition ever. Thanks to @moarhops and @piperspub for a great night.

Just sang happy birthday to my father while standing in line at @pghtacotruck. Everyone joined in.

If @moarhops ever offers you tits, you’d best accept. Thank you and good night, yinz guys. #asistradition

My lifelong dream of appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated has finally been realized. @mrscrappy @trailion  http://twitpic.com/bb5wlx 

Oh, holy crap — @draftdaysuit brings you The Carla and Crappy show, w/ CFB picks from @carlaswank and yours truly. http://t.co/htwfVupk

The one political tweet you’ll see from me this year: That was my president.

I’d be more impressed with the texting championships if there were a drunk texting category.

Fun autocorrect suggestion: getoffmylawn = vetoed Uslan.