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Wearing my lucky underwear just in case the cops come to the door.
Is it possible to make uglier clothes for fat people? Just cause we're big doesn't mean we like glittery snowflakes.
I like gays so much better than I like church.
Ever been bullied? Wear PURPLE on Wednesday to show your support for bullied teens! Yea I mean you. Pls RT.
If people like me then that's just a bonus. Cause basically, I don't like anyone.
Again, the store is called Forever 21, not Almost 55.
I always have to remember I'm an adult.
That's it, I'm sending my toe hair to the gulf to soak up the oil. #doingmypart
Blackberry is the hotmail.com of phones.
Watching What Women Want, you know, the movie right before Mel Gibson went completely apeshit.
Someone's "Thriller" ringtone just went off in our Agency-wide meeting. Hot!
Dear Covergirl, your makeup is neither easy or breezy.
I had no idea how many straight men identify as lesbians.
Anytime someone calls you hon, sweetie, dear, etc. automatically assume they are putting you down. Ok, babe?
I can barely get out of the bed in the morning without getting something on my shirt.
So bummed I'm not getting more stars. #addiction
My snuggie is in the closet with my heterosexuality.
Bacon, social justice, stalking, wings. family of choice.
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