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I'm assuming the opposite of religion is reality.
I'm famous for my mood swings and sexual preferences...
My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'.
Mainly because his name is Matthew.
Some guy in the street just said to me, "نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم"
I said, "don't have a scooby what you're saying mate."
Thames Valley Police are looking for a "sexual predator".
I phoned the police information line, apparently it's a not a job advertisement.
I live at home with my parents..it's just temporary til they die.
When you realise the child you just snatched from outside the school is another paedophile in school uniform #Talkaboutawkward
Fuck her like a pornstar, Treat her like a princess
What's the point of making sense, if the only sense we make is to prove a point?
No doubt I will stay up late again tonight and regret it in the morning, only to say I'm never doing that again, same with drinking too.
Tried to please a woman today - I was rubbing her clit she said she didn't feel anything!?? I just couldn't put a finger on it!
Don't pretend you've never filled the bath up with water & turned on the shower so you can pretend you're in a submarine that just got hit.
Police: "Is there anything in the car that shouldn't be?"
Me: "Yes Officer, my wife. I know, I know she's supposed to be in the kitchen"
Got short changed today - love wearing midgets clothing.
Backwards clock says your early...
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender asks "why the long face?" The horse, unable to understand, eats a beermat & shits on the floor.
If you are going to walk around my garden of crazy.
Please use the psycho-path.
I read 'The Idiot' by Fyodor Dostoevsky yesterday.
Well, its only two words.
Ok, I just looked at the picture on the cover.
Parents: "We were young once you know, we've done all this before"
Brother: "Like fuck you had dubstep in the 70's"
Stern, Yet Fair.. Bodybuilding, Musician, Theoretical critic, Self-assured genius with a realistic yet encouraging perceptive on life, Confident but reserved