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Upcoming Jason Statham Movies:
- The Crime Job
- The Guy Fighter
- The Car Driver
- Fist & Chips
- Cockney & Racy
Hi, I’m your waiter Jeff, let me tell you about The Specials. The Specials are an English 2 Tone ska revival band from Coventry, England…
Me & my bros like to call appetizers:
Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.
Anyone recommend a good book to sit on my nightstand untouched for 3 years collecting dust while I mindlessly stare into this stupid screen?
Let me know if any of your dogs have learned how to talk because I've written 6 pretty good rap songs from the perspective of a rapping dog.
"Um, here's a crazy idea, how about finishing the wall mural in the baby's room?" - Banksy's wife
CBS has 3 different NCIS shows on its fall schedule because people are fed up with the rampant naval crimes in our country and want answers!
*uses falconry glove to take tray of bagel bites out of oven*
Just yelled out "Is it Friday yet?" Coworkers hoisted my chair in the air, paraded me around the office, crowned me new DIRECTOR OF LAUGHS!
When Facebook friends post about their kids’ sports victories, I always comment “He cheated. I was there. Very disappointed in your family.”
If there’s a kid acting like an adult in your ad I will not buy your product and I’ll buy your competitor’s product even if I don’t need it.
Dora has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
The hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have.
Coffee Shops with Free WiFi
- Welcome Back Squatter
- See Ya Loiter
- American Idle Cafe
- Slow Sips Abyss
- Café Au Layabout
Executive Producer of 'Nephew Swap'
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