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  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Upcoming Jason Statham Movies:
    - The Crime Job
    - The Guy Fighter
    - The Car Driver
    - Fist & Chips
    - Snog
    - Plunk
    - Cockney & Racy

    • 1,184
    • FAVS
    jmsldrdtschuman13duddersjyoyohalaura_riinaSneidiTeeWoofMDzacharymorgan42
    • 780
    • RETWEETS
    6PackOfTriangleScubaSteve1219smashingpalmerSneidiTeewr_noelMarkTwainCryingknifeyCannibalColleen
    brzandt
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.

    • 965
    • FAVS
    tigersgoroooarDeanKonkamogabriel_jakesgodholioJeffMichaelViceRopinRodeoNatenaknakaya_Elizabeth_K
    • 652
    • RETWEETS
    hatandfeetgonzojakeAtroposRFHderrick_walterpatchworkheroGirlAboutTownNYCheekbonzJohnnyGrogunn
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Me & my bros like to call appetizers:
    Apps
    Appies
    Appeteazers
    Appuccinos
    Ap Pacinos
    Judd Apatowzers
    Appy Fillmores
    Feminine Appkins

    • 882
    • FAVS
    EayaReynoldsnaazihahrutesperanzadrunksince1991JaySuchprimawesomeMistuhBaklavaJennyPentland
    • 600
    • RETWEETS
    SalviNicholasrutesperanzadougprispreedd_b_stoneWalk3r44DSullivan212BillMc7CConnar
    Home_HalfwaySCbchbum
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Hi, I’m your waiter Jeff, let me tell you about The Specials. The Specials are an English 2 Tone ska revival band from Coventry, England…

    • 681
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackTiffanyVanGoeyHollyM_PhotoBloomability47aaron_riewedatingdadsMonsterBad82allegramiriam
    • 442
    • RETWEETS
    rob_strifeheartBloomability47datingdadsbaharipilgrimRichTysoeTekFjasonjarmooshbabzzmcmoonfish
    kamiekaymeeIGotsSmartsvladchocBlitznBeans
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    "Um, here's a crazy idea, how about finishing the wall mural in the baby's room?" - Banksy's wife

    • 483
    • FAVS
    theycallmejwowbotandycrk1229LetdownLizziecorintellectual10cSugarMagthomasesmithgrubi
    • 198
    • RETWEETS
    meggie_reedLetdownLizziedanwaitestable4glassesMaryTylerMogtklynchtheoliviavidalsnmrrw
    Kendragarden
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    *uses falconry glove to take tray of bagel bites out of oven*

    • 414
    • FAVS
    Bossben45KendragardenCatherineLMKHopeLynnRoseburgerfeetsjohnnybagelkkkatieeeThatFishCreigh
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    HandurdealtWham_CityMrMoneyPussyjesmall01JayPitts14hello_saylorBenDurkeeGaeusi
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    When Facebook friends post about their kids’ sports victories, I always comment “He cheated. I was there. Very disappointed in your family.”

    • 309
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackMacKoolioGrowlyGregoHome_HalfwayheckajakejhnmchlLostCatDogdrainyowbrain
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    IknowDennYAkshon_BastardspookylilghostheckajakeUncleMalamadrainyowbrainhenreeacclaytonr
    kingstonstreetbrittarnettmy_minivan_life
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    If there’s a kid acting like an adult in your ad I will not buy your product and I’ll buy your competitor’s product even if I don’t need it.

    • 332
    • FAVS
    yoWTFbrahHorsicalTweesTweetsJimNotCarreyLythamCoffeeCoMilfislandbehindyourbackTheDairylandDon
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    TweesTweetsJimNotCarreythekerororistahrabikImproperBrahminpuzzy_cutzMollyLeMoineJoeGannonSchutz
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Guys, Dole Kemp 96 website is still live and still awesome!  http://www.dolekemp96.org/main.htm  thx @primer

    • 115
    • FAVS
    jefftminstondeke_duncanmy_minivan_lifePlaying_DadkamiekaymeelehmanbwtrumpetcakeFeliciaLMiller
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    nicstruztechsarahJohnABenderCragglervtmelcarnalartistryKCeronUnitedsteveyetter
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Just yelled out "Is it Friday yet?" Coworkers hoisted my chair in the air, paraded me around the office, crowned me new DIRECTOR OF LAUGHS!

    • 295
    • FAVS
    WookieOnUnicorndjdavemichaelsCalmTomb13spencerQueefSandwichMlleShelbyMcKayRinglingMotherChrisDomenick
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    AngelWebb_13monophochiTheDairylandDonHunterDoorhingecheddarbiskitalvayagBONER_POWER_420JonCheddar
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Dora has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.

    • 239
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackGrowlyGregohoopahoepseanx3TearsaSmithjosiahjleeAmyLee1234daveheiniger
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    Akshon_Bastardseanx3vvxcnrvDawnMoyersibrenduhmaybescottAmyLee1234my_minivan_life
    JaySuch
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Coffee Shops with Free WiFi
    - Welcome Back Squatter
    - See Ya Loiter
    - American Idle Cafe
    - Tablesloths
    - Slow Sips Abyss
    - Café Au Layabout

    • 244
    • FAVS
    SamGrittnerrkazottiNavy_Bean_SoupLostCatDogShirzan29missanthropisstdmatkins137Crunktastic_zor
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    WookieOnUnicornTheDairylandDonDaveS002QuotebookGuyPonyRoyfractosleepmorrisonfaviator
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    How would you rate the performances of our Medieval costumed entertainers?

    ☐ Renaissance Great
    ☐ Renaissance Good
    ☐ Renaissance Fair

    • 228
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackmissingblakesorthancatmarkleidnerharrisonvcscearleyDrew4484MEG_usta
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    orthancatharrisonvcTwiterHerostemstepiptay3Mr_IndigoOhRatherearfdae
    earfdaebigdumptruck
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    New Jersey News Hurricane Traffic Advisory: Please avoid Highway 9, it's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive. #hurricane

    • 74
    • FAVS
    BeRusTerrChristinaSauskaJaySaqqaBownuggetsTheDairylandDonLostCatDogAndLive2LovePlaying_Dad
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    BeRusTerrMeatCat12345asimplemachineBownuggetsTheFlanchiseHoraptorjackflapsgripsofchips
    lanyardigan
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Sorry I spent the afternoon throwing Molotov cocktails through your storefront windows. I bought 5-Hour Anarchy by mistake.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    redherringbearDanielRCarrillojrichiev2NonPhatMatt______siscilyyungmustache______CROWEbraStarshpbread_thing
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    SociablyAwkwardmariaisab3llawolves_in_spaceweirddrugsIkeMadelinebread_thingWyanRilsonDannyR_OD
    jefftminston
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    When I start telling someone how we rescued our dog from a shelter, my dog will make the jerking off motion with his paw behind my back.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackGrowlyGregoalexhartzlerBigsby29annaingeHazeleyedmonstrjerryRenekCabetoMejia
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    delraytacoHazeleyedmonstrmbondurantCacheTastrophySpirkCTheDairylandDonnatashaluxeexghoulfriend
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    I have yet to meet a little kid wearing sunglasses who is actually cool.

    • 162
    • FAVS
    behindyourbackspecialsquidhonkeyrhubarbm3rcatAdamTheLobstersam_reginaldNonCombosMentosanncarracher20
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    NonCombosMentosasimplemachineAkshon_BastardGrowlyGregomy_minivan_lifeTheDairylandDonbrzandtthatpatp
    brzandtduplicitron
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Would you like your receipt
    - in the bag?
    - emailed?
    - posted on Facebook?
    - made into origami elk?
    - framed?
    - read aloud?
    - lit on fire?

    • 108
    • FAVS
    jefftminstonbehindyourbackbrzandtrachel_dangerrunbearableHOTTVampChickaBagrlylittleREDelf
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    Runs_Wildfavstar1000favsTheStagingGuymarkcarrollnowashleyemiliaDarleenCwpazzurrishorts_n_longs
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    MAKE YOURSELF CHUG BEER TIL U PASS OUT! DRAW A DICK ON YOUR OWN FOREHEAD! - texts from my University of Phoenix online fraternity brothers

    • 113
    • FAVS
    LostCatDogbrzandtTheDairylandDonmy_minivan_lifeAndLive2LovewhduncanPlaying_DadStephenRuh
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    obeygiantsclobniejampersandQuimboSliceIDHvisiblezachKathrynlinhardthidolphinitionMichaelSee11
  • usedwigs
      Jeff Lyons @usedwigs

    Films I DID NOT LIKE, Very Misleading Titles!
    - Dances with Wolves
    - Chariots Of Fire
    - Naked Lunch
    - The Parent Trap
    - Lords of Dogtown

    • 137
    • FAVS
    blindinglights3Milase_kTBefortbehindyourbackQatarwolbarby_bearHowlettMattsoonerick76
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    daverags66CarlToddHandJamJamturner21TheRealDCFJackson_T_FishSassafrantzAudreyRoseWspazrunsny
@usedwigs

@usedwigs

segway enthusiast