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  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Brrr, it's so cold around here that I just saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

    • 153
    • FAVS
    MidgetsparBasstardy________lvvzzMissWontvaporcoffinFredPollackUNCLEMIKETWEETSsnickuous
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    UNCLEMIKETWEETSmofoletsgoPoodasBrainIkiyi_Kasikisifarleftcoast
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    God has to have the sense of humour he made me sound the way I do but Mike Tyson the way he does.

    • 80
    • FAVS
    MidgetsparBasstardy________lvvzzMissWontUNCLEMIKETWEETSHushingViolence__VoiceOfReason25SecretKickoff
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    The way 'Pamela anderson' dresses always reminds me of a bad photograph: overdeveloped and overexposed.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    MidgetsparlvvzzUNCLEMIKETWEETSHushingViolence__farleftcoastvxlkAspersioncastandyerikson
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    And when I am feeling fat, I take a trip to WalMart. :P

    • 65
    • FAVS
    lvvzzUNCLEMIKETWEETSfarleftcoastvxlkAspersioncastandyeriksongirl_eats_worlddietredbull
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Why only dogs? If someone fed me, pampered me,clothed me,picked up after me, and fought for my rights,i would stay loyal to him forever too.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    lvvzzUNCLEMIKETWEETSVoiceOfReason25farleftcoastAspersioncastandyeriksonplfrederickgirl_eats_world
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Few days of absolute silence and i got more new followers then usual, Guess my ex wasn't wrong afterall.

    • 60
    • FAVS
    lvvzzFeliciovsfarleftcoastAspersioncastandyeriksongirl_eats_worldmlb_matosdietredbull
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    4 in 10 people admit eating raw cookie dough while making cookies. In related news, 6 in 10 people are straight up liars.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    kapow_7SapphoAndGritscam_canada1larisasaysmurphyas905ElgatoEsmiotheDanLawlerWaterLilyDreams
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    murphyas905cam_canada1Favstar500FavsWaterLilyDreams
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Parents still think I don't understand the sexual innuendos & analogies they say towards each other in my presence!! Low blow, Innit ? :|

    • 54
    • FAVS
    lvvzzfarleftcoastAspersioncastandyeriksonBrashBallsbeingtheo________snickuousgirl_eats_world
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Woman gives birth to 20 pound baby in Somalia. Feeds village for weeks.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    murphyas905ThatShittyGuy____lvvzzJeniScagnettiplfrederickTequilaTearsAspersioncastandyerikson
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    mkdrsaFavstar500FavsJeniScagnetti
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Almost 25 years old and wearing matching outfits with your girlfriend! Time to hand in your balls.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    MagoosbackWackyWorld98TheJivemaster____SapphoAndGritsmurphyas905MaryD_AnonElgatoEsmiolvvzz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    sphynx42omurphyas905
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Note to self: Making fun of people's dead mother in dive bars is rarely the start of a sophisticated, meaningful conversation. Rarely.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    lvvzzfarleftcoastTequilaTearsAspersioncastsnickuousdietredbulldavidisnotrightRandomHold________
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Snow closes some more Canadian schools; its going after young children like a catholic priest...

    • 44
    • FAVS
    lvvzzFeliciovs_dont_stop_now____farleftcoastAspersioncastsnickuousmlb_matosdietredbull
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    I only misbehave so dramatically at the end of bad dates so at least I have a story to tell besides "she so was fuckin' dumb".

    • 43
    • FAVS
    lvvzzFeliciovsVoiceOfReason25farleftcoastAspersioncastmlb_matosdietredbulldavidisnotright
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Heard they distinguish and segregate straight and lesbian prisoners in prison! Very hard to tell apart on days they serve fishsticks.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    lvvzzFeliciovsVoiceOfReason25AspersioncastJasmineIsSillysnickuousdietredbulldavidisnotright
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    I'm The Stereotype, The Walking Sin,

    For I Love Not Gender, But The Spirit Within.

    #bisexual #loudandproud #proudbisexual

    • 25
    • FAVS
    redzemyla________kapow_7murphyas905MaryD_AnonGelicaps______gokichuHeatherrDoyleSepIsDead__
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    redzemyla________murphyas905HeatherrDoyleladyluck1173kevnastoUnhingedBlahTheLesbianTwinPlayfulDemon13
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    If it wasn't 4 the author's bio i'd have mistaken sarah palin's speeches 4 a 12 year old's rant-infested cliché-ridden diary entries.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    lvvzzAspersioncastdietredbulldavidisnotrightRandomHold________sammynitro________ll_Tammy_llMisfitTits
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    When I am feeling like a failure, I google "Latest Mike Tyson News".

    • 33
    • FAVS
    lvvzzAspersioncastmlb_matosdietredbullsammynitro________ll_Tammy_llBagheeraDanfunnyguy
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Part of me believes that the rap industry started when two guys hanging out in 1970 realized that "shake it" and "butt naked" almost rhyme.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    MaryD_AnonElgatoEsmiolvvzzFeliciovsHushingViolence__Aspersioncastgirl_eats_worldbeingtheo________
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Bad things happen when people are bored.Britney Spears' marriage,Shaquille O'Neal's music career,Twilight Saga, @dalailama's twitter a/c....

    • 32
    • FAVS
    lvvzzmlb_matosdietredbullRandomHold________AlexOverHere______sammynitro________tnylgnThaozilla________
  • userfuckinname
      Lucifer @userfuckinname

    Life is like a snuff film; it's not all that gratifying to watch, but in the end you're glad you had the experience.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    murphyas905MaryD_AnonlvvzznemoflakesUNCLEMIKETWEETSHushingViolence__AspersioncastThatGabi
@userfuckinname

@userfuckinname

I dislike people, but always give them a chance.