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  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Gift @UtilityLimb Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 6,303
    • LIKES
    little_combatSmaug360mokietaufmonstercryptichandleTrebucketkristenhavensGullibleBox
    • 5,395
    • RETWEETS
    little_combatbeefilmnzfallonfofallonsymeoMurderDeathHugQlynqEizlburzumzumzem
    EvaGisellemaxlavergneTRASHlNESS__pete_c_hell_homer__actualjellyfishingmarbirdmanBeeStapler
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*

    • 6,210
    • LIKES
    kbettch_wikkedanghelYungShitmouthAudreyPorneKappa_KappayotwhopperAHundredElbowsdata_guy
    • 3,759
    • RETWEETS
    yungbachwikkedanghelAudreyPorneaureljaredAHundredElbowsTwoSapphiresBlubecc0oelizabeth_fels
    maxlavergneQVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]

    • 5,533
    • LIKES
    OfficelifeskratosfrostbitegoombapoliceSirTeeeeeJ662x3hrdgrdhoedeehoeDariusFingston
    • 2,353
    • RETWEETS
    AngieissoCuznjaketiredasjaiKennaHollandgoombapoliceSirTeeeeeJ662x3Jinnchhooi
    BeverlyCleary69shruglordprinceamherstfart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity

    • 5,151
    • LIKES
    HereComesAndyOfficelifeswintergreenpaulajslaterHarryWKMmeghanmadonnaeph_beeenemykrab
    • 2,478
    • RETWEETS
    TungstenKneecapvangoghgaIunfortunatalieWaterPoloTrevorAestusRoseSPACEHOME_enemykrabRevolverUnit
    bromanconsulshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.

    • 3,968
    • LIKES
    GonegonzFREE_EDENPMahoney41DustinkcouchAishfaceleifromloihimeganshpettitTheFoamcastle
    • 2,299
    • RETWEETS
    LeslyVuittondonteven_blinkRvka_FlackovelliFinlandsFinest7wintergreenpauledwolsinkIaurent
    DukeRaccoonsunfiltershruglordthe_kizzle
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.

    • 3,645
    • LIKES
    mikemancinimeghanmadonnacosminautDBwiddaDBbradyd82honutmuffincipcakessamelpan
    • 2,105
    • RETWEETS
    hellabeescatdoghedgehog_ricecapadesodatalmayoftherockWaterPoloTrevorbabeIincolnTallDarkChicano
    deeeebagshruglordweird_hugs________BeeStaplerjrrrd
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in

    • 3,637
    • LIKES
    OfficelifesDBwiddaDBpete_c_chris_montoyazuzuzuspetalsHalit_awalecremepuffs_skerr
    • 1,876
    • RETWEETS
    tiredasjaivangoghgaIDBwiddaDBgphatPapercutFilesacidpantsshivaniamiinarborwildes
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"

    • 2,814
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    tsayvsloopswoopHrtySpicebrostoevsky_ghostlightMikeCanRant1arrsaykyledunphy5
    • 1,546
    • RETWEETS
    FalmudhaftholzermanohgodallthebeesLearnedMuffinsinfulvioletbrostoevskyamjustspencerSwagPaste
    deeeebagshruglordMrPapaya__________fart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.

    • 2,779
    • LIKES
    mikemancinirohmontgomeryJershflerstHereComesAndywarmyellowlightRylRGleovaderPureGreySilence
    • 1,485
    • RETWEETS
    JershflerstkatsitsiohawiMugaSoferAndersReynoldsDrunkReptileNickGrowingOldHexateucHWright_Thoughts
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't

    • 2,536
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    The_LnKegg_dogtherealeatwoodtomdobbfuckutomtom_illusionewmichellesupermoof
    • 1,422
    • RETWEETS
    sp00kylukeThatAwfulNickpunmagnatebosh_castawaydirehellswanJeremyHellwigZahhakatarikissdads
    sunfilterdeeeebagshruglordmaxlavergneAbbytheGroovy__dudehugsBeeStaplerrare_basement
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"

    • 2,485
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    zaclewijmlaveyikissdadsJaredRusselcockswanaSaulJRosenbearaboll14rinkadink_
    • 1,272
    • RETWEETS
    TheDamnDirtyBritpoptartsAdrianSurnameikissdadsScummyRObesitySquirrelold_faithful11skrilldo
    shruglordScreamboat__iandury007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"

    • 2,290
    • LIKES
    mikemancini_bamyegsimonBryainiacapparentlysmartikissdadsplorf_jlilinaa
    • 1,335
    • RETWEETS
    bogey_bogs_bammonolithcomplexTygerbugGarrettNoraReedshirahdevorahWillWuTangcarbon_lions
    actualjellyfish
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite "BOG WISDOM"

    • 2,358
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    fuddlemarkwillradonlxncool_as_heckSirEviscerateAnnaKoochairuhLuvmybrandsGorillaMunchies
    • 1,029
    • RETWEETS
    suprrpaullemonsforhandsbumpasaurustomdobbJimboGevauxLiam_Smith1990hpziallnakedlaughing__
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.

    • 2,151
    • LIKES
    HereComesAndybzootycollinwithtwoLsThynebearLamebagdale_targaryenjessokfinedanjan13
    • 1,200
    • RETWEETS
    bzootyAllOuttaAleWillWuTang1arrsayHannahisjesusHelloGalloCoolStoryBroManmrjohnmiddleton
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT

    • 1,885
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    SharksOnCouchesbacon_punk13fuddlemarkrichmondxdxjDBwiddaDBlukegraneyfkasharkDickkLegs
    • 1,205
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    violentlycarFoggleARtyabann_dac001357bacon_punk13latenightjitterbananafitzburritoofsad
    deeeebagvelcrofannypackshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    dude, you GOTTA see this GIF! [gif is you dying while watching the gif. you look up but im gone & so is every exit leading out of applebees]

    • 2,016
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    TheLifeOfGandomikemancini_Cosmic_OwlKappa_KappaweslapepograhammarayninatreemonkeySirEviscerate
    • 934
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    TheLifeOfGandoHashtagBetmirandaamariee_heavyglxxmdatabongjeffreysellersmaondozaHexateucH
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    "how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

    • 1,903
    • LIKES
    HashtagBetHereComesAndytomdobbAyeAyeMauroyikestomeetyouWendyCuredefundpoppunkanimeisterrible
    • 1,005
    • RETWEETS
    HashtagBetjumcgukarahwilson15WendyCureirondavyCjEggett_stop_itcorvibae
    DustinAHarkins
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]

    • 1,939
    • LIKES
    HereComesAndydale_targaryenHappenstance8MurrayOverboardPhilJamessonMKUltra_violetDariusFingstonjmlavey
    • 930
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    hazy_somethingCoolStoryBroManwinemom1996georaffesS0ftGpRoUrNnGoEDariusFingstonikissdadsilaniel
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen

    • 1,648
    • LIKES
    jones77wolfebltdelizabeth_felskayleighpugetBrick_Walrusorange_rhymernelsonbronteeBosko_DePompo
    • 1,097
    • RETWEETS
    wolfebltdtweetDittyelizabeth_felsBrick_Walrusorange_rhymerbad_garbageJMHarencharleenthk
    octoqt__Hermit_Thrush
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]

    • 1,771
    • LIKES
    SirTeeeeeJAudenarycantsinghJacobkuppsemi_coolSpenSpenBurtBrick_WalrusProdigyNelson
    • 965
    • RETWEETS
    Phydeaux_mikeandvikesBrick_WalrusProdigyNelsondsimmons1228wizardofwoz1youngtherisbethaucello
@UtilityLimb

@UtilityLimb

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