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  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Gift @UtilityLimb Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 6,589
    • LIKES
    donjochilliamsburgMunqbug_factsnotfoluSenatorMeowxzqxabsomni
    • 5,580
    • RETWEETS
    WillNetskydainty_ladDavisGalvinAaronBaczkowskinbuenochrysicsSenatorMeowRobert_King01
    EvaGiselleprawn_meatTRASHlNESS__pete_c_hell_homer__actualjellyfishingmarbirdmanBeeStapler
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*

    • 6,618
    • LIKES
    dhritzkivrifflesbyStrongGreavedgalacoblueinstain_motherslacks_stacks_ghostlightHongKongHermit
    • 3,950
    • RETWEETS
    Katana_PunklittleBilhamCoolDogsRuleZdollaz09sexyfacts4uBrokenpaw_queermageddonililileana
    prawn_meatQVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity

    • 5,800
    • LIKES
    MythicPicnicGloriotresdessertstevevsninjasgarbagevilleConnorFinneganEnochSniderbropanski
    • 2,780
    • RETWEETS
    rhdoeChrlesGlass12gemma__hazeltresdessertBased_Ianstevevsninjastittychipsbirdcardigan
    bromanconsulshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]

    • 5,656
    • LIKES
    BrkmstrCylinderBurlyVAHarryKershjohntornhistoryinflicksZacharyArmandrfinzcr0ws_eye
    • 2,405
    • RETWEETS
    Maedraveldidcarters_blogmannfjandiBoudreauxdadogSharksOnCouchesMrHollawoodveryimportedbranduncare
    BeverlyCleary69shruglordprinceamherstfart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.

    • 4,083
    • LIKES
    BenisSpicyphockstomwalkerisgoodBrkmstrCylinderhandsome_houseBIGBUTTSKIwaldron76MayIPeeNow
    • 2,351
    • RETWEETS
    BenisSpicyMikeyLowgunjonathemlingJohnnyEverclearelectricschleepsemiamateurwaldron76ShawstySean
    DukeRaccoonsunfiltershruglordthe_kizzle
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.

    • 3,858
    • LIKES
    BrkmstrCylinderghostdad0madampsychosisscamandronymuskidzgotsingingelizabeth_felskevinthrHarryKersh
    • 2,239
    • RETWEETS
    wickedchickenRoobbiinnnnorangeuptopyouandtheobtuseworldisafuckwochieghostdad0lexibunbun
    deeeebagshruglordweird_hugs________BeeStaplerjrrrd
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in

    • 3,712
    • LIKES
    heatlebjornBrkmstrCylinderUrplePingoBrad_MadnessrohmontgomeryCARRIONIERpstamatoayecomp
    • 1,921
    • RETWEETS
    SachaWheelerpstamatoayecomptitsupinaditchjessifalloonseraphicsaphaelvangoghgaIDBwiddaDB
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.

    • 2,978
    • LIKES
    SharksOnCoucheshamishleith69percentmilkbrostoevskystuhutch2theraddestmemeSardonicDrollku81na
    • 1,590
    • RETWEETS
    galaxiaskykloz69percentmilkolekdotcomslowpeelzGina_OCmonsieursofteegrandfinnallyUrplePingo
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"

    • 2,833
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    felixpotvinBrkmstrCylinderKevin_HuppDrGhostbabygmaddexmorgvannytheofficialjeffguantanamobae
    • 1,556
    • RETWEETS
    ChrlesGlass12LandFeeshAeroTheFoxmasked_awesomejake2524ditriechElijahCristofftheofficialjeff
    deeeebagshruglordMrPapaya__________fart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    dude, you GOTTA see this GIF! [gif is you dying while watching the gif. you look up but im gone & so is every exit leading out of applebees]

    • 2,770
    • LIKES
    BrkmstrCylinderHarryKershkylebutcher5splooskBurntMayonnaiseCorncleatsoforoscar__the_lamest
    • 1,270
    • RETWEETS
    RayRaySharpaytofuwaterbloodydantasticrelevantjunkiethe0neand0nlyxbwhodrillinroger___thatttristandanger17
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't

    • 2,553
    • LIKES
    kyledunphy5garthinkingcapemlllyynlapifuckjohnobrienwaldron76The_LnKegg_dog
    • 1,426
    • RETWEETS
    stalefriesviolentlycarsp00kylukeThatAwfulNickpunmagnatebosh_castawaydirehellswanJeremyHellwig
    sunfilterdeeeebagshruglordprawn_meatAbbytheGroovy__dudehugsBeeStaplerrare_basement
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"

    • 2,590
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    BabyBerg94toomanytoesRoosterMustachetimcameronryancr0ws_eyetapiocabitchRatCasketdasementbweller
    • 1,335
    • RETWEETS
    ChrlesGlass12BabyBerg94skorpiomagazinerulesofthirds__no_fo_shopistolwistolslowpeelzSkidrowMania
    shruglordScreamboat__iandury007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"

    • 2,422
    • LIKES
    SlewFootersstabbedpainswebsighNEthingButWorkBIGBUTTSKILILMEMEQUEENNathanYorkJrEHCB
    • 1,427
    • RETWEETS
    srhfsyMXLXTXVheavyglxxmhellofromannstabbedpainsAluminiumilismderlenbeckfuzzyrants
    actualjellyfish
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite "BOG WISDOM"

    • 2,501
    • LIKES
    RoosterMustacheBrennedy94robotmouthfartsBrkmstrCylinderLukeErdSchulz_NoTKevin_HuppPiecezilla
    • 1,097
    • RETWEETS
    mattjonestqDjYungKyleleggrangloisLukeErdSchulz_NoTnaterapuanocharlotteberbyung_slade
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.

    • 2,208
    • LIKES
    fuckutompogsaregoodMcSwtrvstCARRIONIERdruuuckhitkittenMrIceMachineyafreffel
    • 1,245
    • RETWEETS
    LindleyAmyburgotasticargentingenuaurbandoggeMcSwtrvstglitteringvoiddudeactuallyayecomp
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]

    • 2,227
    • LIKES
    ChrlesGlass12benicus_rexfuckutomPat_BrenorangeuptopJohnnyKetchupthemiltronJB4Realz
    • 1,060
    • RETWEETS
    KeytonKnightgeneraldietzgsodohMcSwtrvstayecompshvdesstabbedpainsCherylHann
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT

    • 1,887
    • LIKES
    BrkmstrCylinderfantastisk_weedviolentlycarSharksOnCouchesbashishmo_fuddlemarkrichmondxdxjDBwiddaDB
    • 1,205
    • RETWEETS
    violentlycarFoggleARtyabann_dac001357bashishmo_latenightjitterbananafitzgoldopals
    deeeebagvelcrofannypackshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    "how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

    • 1,987
    • LIKES
    heatlebjorndamngooddogbrostoevskyorangeuptopCARRIONIERJake_May15headlinepayoffPretendMaker
    • 1,037
    • RETWEETS
    HowMuchForGoattresdessertkatrinaspiceheadlinepayoffMichaelHabetlerjacknevada125YungMeme_yerpalmildsauce
    DustinAHarkins
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]

    • 1,970
    • LIKES
    childrensrifleBrkmstrCylinderdylan_275orangeuptoprohmontgomerybmichaelpogsaregoodAmusitr0n
    • 1,047
    • RETWEETS
    dylan_275Roelof_Prinsoldheada__boycsimpson2016ElizabethZemsayecompCasAnnDeschriskmaloy
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen

    • 1,787
    • LIKES
    dadsizedwtmsidBurntMayonnaisestevevsninjasLnL245BenFoster000rob_strifeheartoohwaffles
    • 1,169
    • RETWEETS
    BurntMayonnaisePatrickLittenstevevsninjasLnL245HallieCloutierLorrettaClishamBenFoster000derlenbeck
    octoqt__Hermit_Thrush
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