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  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Programming Skills: PRIMARILY RUBY AND PYTHON BUT I CAN USE ANY TYPE OF GEM TO CONTROL ANY TYPE OF SNAKE

    • 2,659
    • FAVS
    cheerschoppertorrezVertuFonesnow_vanp3restroikaofficial_scottgtylerxbaileyEGardepe
    • 2,580
    • RETWEETS
    rinshankouhaiCAYdenbergjenniferlin15briandroitcoursnow_vanKillerkerfuffleac3xxp3restroika
    EvaGisellemaxlavergneeggdreamspete_c_hell_homeractualjellyfishingmarbirdmanBeeStapler
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*

    • 2,746
    • FAVS
    Bardthsnow_vanzebrarian77motharuckerLetdownLizzieCoolAdult93PineappleskillAlicksSandurz
    • 2,160
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullsnow_vanKillerkerfuffleDoubleOhVIIemzheheMaxYoungbloodzebrarian77themanofentropy
    maxlavergneQVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]

    • 2,102
    • FAVS
    kingfaraoneevlbzltyroranmackechnieSupdiansoonmidejammusgrahammarayb4nn0n
    • 1,016
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullB_RabSadoskykingfaraoneAntikytheraSAmr13lakesoonmideTalkingBackwardHeadOnAHinge
    BeverlyCleary69shruglordparaphrasecityfart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"

    • 1,875
    • FAVS
    idiot69173411Vossenator49PierreLeMeattheycallmejwowSound_Deptkirstiburstisheschistudlycharlie
    • 1,111
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullJeffMcMahonLetdownLizziesheschiRachelvsPublicKillerkerfufflelifealertnursekirsteapotts
    shruglordMrPapaya__________fart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT

    • 1,528
    • FAVS
    KillerkerfuffleOpinionAloudiamjoekovacsDah_ButlahBewareofeaglemoltenfunktype_waveykhymchanur
    • 1,056
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullmoltenfunkpatchak21wheezygeevieSexFergusonMax_D_thoHologramDHark____tenorburns
    deeeebagvelcrofannypackshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person

    • 1,325
    • FAVS
    zachcwcmacwilkiesnow_vanz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zawkward_lettucePurpletimehotsoccerchic69heytheredog
    • 1,086
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullsnow_vanaford8469shadesoftaarnickguerin520ProfDildsonijustdont_whate_skala
    QVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't

    • 1,417
    • FAVS
    MejwellskevboonKillerkerfuffleBrandonEsWolfBewareofeaglekidfenrisTHISISNTMYHOUSEiamjoekovacs
    • 895
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullBewareofeagleNickDoff235instarrraverinserepeatjimi_aomaseefoxAnEpicMistake
    deeeebagshruglordmaxlavergneAbbytheGroovydudehugsBeeStaplerrare_basement
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.

    • 1,336
    • FAVS
    rottenrosenJordanStivaRefinageNilksophieottavianilucysophiakGinGanderbagelprincessbrittniO_o
    • 960
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullCausticChrisMichelgrabowyGinGanderagentkonybanksSBash_RalphEd_SaraRabie_
    sunfiltershruglordthe_kizzle
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"

    • 1,328
    • FAVS
    Mike_hugssvethardtporkfriedmiceskevboonCausticChrisoriginalgeezelKillerkerfufflesimmysamsozzle
    • 899
    • RETWEETS
    TVarmyplainskullCheyenneJoylexuhboozoriginalgeezelchim__chim__einna__JJSIII
    actualjellyfish
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.

    • 1,220
    • FAVS
    LuxuryHandfruitCodyGryphletskawaiinamoagogocall_me_lichkee_incathyisgroovytheladydoctor1
    • 938
    • RETWEETS
    tonybreedInfernalPaladinfluff_dragonvahnfoxmerrilleewaacrudtownNorondoramycrywolf
    deeeebagshruglordweird_hugs________BeeStaplerjrrrd
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity

    • 1,323
    • FAVS
    Mike_hugsClogGearbeefhuddlezmandellaskevboonCausticChrisPLFinochristinawilder
    • 800
    • RETWEETS
    badtrackingPouchmonsterAverySkunkhorsedreamerzmandellajaybarnesplainskullckolderup
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen

    • 1,052
    • FAVS
    em_dash01LonettoMBKenHaskellskevboonCausticChrispatkaymunsnow_vanRachelvsPublic
    • 814
    • RETWEETS
    chongtasticCrashburnAlleyplainskullsnow_vanspankministerabsomnisneakyhellEtfhan_ebooks
    octoqtHermit_Thrush
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Special Buy Nothing Day Sale!! Great Deals On: [ HOLES | VOIDS | SILENCE | NUMBNESS ] whisper coupon code "hello?" into a disconnected phone

    • 954
    • FAVS
    CausticChrissnow_vanLilSassySoGoldSurrealSandwichlunar_successethanheyrmanhiitsmollymoltenfunk
    • 774
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullSurrealSandwichkingfaraone10rdBenFredDurst2003itsjaddySwampbastardcolorbones
    shruglordHermit_Thrush
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in

    • 1,096
    • FAVS
    kee_inSacajewianZCAINRaardbuttsquid_butt69gurl_sweatshirtlnyan17tone_poem
    • 546
    • RETWEETS
    aardbuttkanyeTWM71lnyan17plainskullCausticChrisDuncanKennedy3PossibleMachine
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"

    • 986
    • FAVS
    skevboonCausticChrissnow_vanSufferesmattwhydani9988YesRealitylaktose
    • 613
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullelizaeffectlaktoseActualLiampukeuleleConcernedMom69AtlasSmuggedPBside
    shruglordScreamboat________iandury007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    a dog's nose is his doorbell, don't push it *DINGWOOF* dude what did i JUST SAY [hatch opens on top of dog. a smaller dog pops his head out]

    • 893
    • FAVS
    CausticChrishiitsmollyBewareofeaglemoltenfunktype_waveykhymchanurvjzuylenchanonista
    • 685
    • RETWEETS
    johnopnsBewareofeagleJeremyTylerGTommyECookHannahBouchsoftPeter_Heaneysad_otakudas_bastard
    WeedCoffinSwell_BroTPHD
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]

    • 1,017
    • FAVS
    samuel_reganrottenrosenskevboonCausticChrisschlongleScrotumFranzWallace_MullinsJoshLeonardis
    • 505
    • RETWEETS
    plainskullgoddamnimglamgin_jeannieBewareofeagletyranosexjimlooksathecamTheNewThoreauSAYAKAMlKl
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.

    • 967
    • FAVS
    CausticChrismeeskeitMaxLightssisopodshuffleLetdownLizzieTheThoughtBusJaketopussaltythetrain
    • 529
    • RETWEETS
    SmokeyQRiversplainskullmlmmlmmlmLetdownLizzieanhonestdrugbibblordDougggaw1gglytuff
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    "how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

    • 829
    • FAVS
    actuallyawfulmilksweatergermknodelsahugewinquadripusspaceship_earthJonWoodTweetsCausticChris
    • 515
    • RETWEETS
    PENTAGLAM69c001357charliemethvenflabberdacksplainskulltoypadlockJokeLvrAlJavieera
    DustinAHarkins
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]

    • 832
    • FAVS
    HoneyBeeAlainaWeirdBirdPalkanyeCausticChrispatkaymunjacobsteasnow_vanbeefhuddle
    • 502
    • RETWEETS
    WordbeastWeirdBirdPalhealthbledgersnow_vanBRUNOZILLAhokiejonesGibsonDuvallChrisStumph
@UtilityLimb

@UtilityLimb