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  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Gift @UtilityLimb Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 7,151
    • LIKES
    shi_noraskilldricklanguagehackernicatronTgjanlKaratefacekidsonyaellenmanntrabbez
    • 6,020
    • RETWEETS
    alephtwoshi_noraskilldrickfemmephobecatacalyptoMarshasinMellowdillon_votawMakeItUnclear
    EvaGiselleprawn_meatTRASHlNESS__pete_c_hell_homer__actualjellyfishingmarbirdmanBeeStapler
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*

    • 6,693
    • LIKES
    FootballFocusAUGoingHard_ingerkarlgilbertWuttercuerkbradbonettecanadasandratherealeatwooddroobis
    • 3,995
    • RETWEETS
    MouseRat_FanWright_ThoughtsWuttercuerkinfiniteyest_NinJarhatehugbear_hereTrevorVader
    prawn_meatQVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity

    • 5,894
    • LIKES
    jessokfinealextranquadaapopagasmnatechartier1rom_quijanoWritePlaypitxviperxPizzaxSlutx
    • 2,848
    • RETWEETS
    bpayment_j_9MouseRat_FanMarsRichAtheneAllenpoopdaboopsoupBASEDweickerryanisntreal
    bromanconsulshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]

    • 5,676
    • LIKES
    Catfish_ManMouseRat_Fannapsaregnarlymolelocomatthewfwoodtext_questtravisstalefries
    • 2,424
    • RETWEETS
    presidentjlhnapsaregnarlylordelinessGREATWHITECURVEmariachimarsHeyYoEZBoBoArnzCowhideGlobe
    BeverlyCleary69shruglordprinceamherstfart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.

    • 4,155
    • LIKES
    the_faisalahmednatechartier1CorinneAllen20ProdigyNelsonspenceforgrisjvdHipsterTrudycwahlz
    • 2,370
    • RETWEETS
    _colleenfureyPoliteHubrisBarknado69doughawkk__erinbarnesyProdigyNelsonpissman4killermarecat
    DukeRaccoonsunfiltershruglordthe_kizzle
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.

    • 3,904
    • LIKES
    gairmscoilespenceforgWillNetsky4lalathelastseabirdReisengRathxPizzaxSlutxAdamKnudson
    • 2,266
    • RETWEETS
    MouseRat_FancraigfollettspenceforgReisengRathwickedchickenRoobbiinnnnorangeuptopyouandtheobtuse
    deeeebagshruglordweird_hugs________BeeStaplerjrrrd
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in

    • 3,828
    • LIKES
    warrenmemmybeccawoonieBrohamulet_scaryhmiketheknife007spenceforgchaos_orbisonjeffrhood
    • 1,986
    • RETWEETS
    _iacta_est_notshahzebBrohamuletchaospigeonAudenarycbenedict87_scaryhmiketheknife007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.

    • 3,043
    • LIKES
    navaltomastheHipsterTrudyspenceforgxmaswarspammmthelastseabirdtw0headedboy___
    • 1,637
    • RETWEETS
    WarrenIsDeadthelastseabirdfoxsoupmothdustRilpwebTeddyHoeseveltspenceforgtw0headedboy___
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"

    • 2,894
    • LIKES
    AudenaryThisIsJThomasspenceforgwhyamikeenanindieobscuraxmaswarevlbzltyrhankhugs
    • 1,583
    • RETWEETS
    mark_argentvemodalenvaultbellestardusthankhugsLowkeyTwitssomniatedirehellswanMouseRat_Fan
    deeeebagshruglordMrPapaya__________fart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"

    • 2,950
    • LIKES
    AudenarySardonicDrollcosminautPinkLipstitchasdfsemibmcduff7couchdwellerfifthsurvivor
    • 1,483
    • RETWEETS
    AudenarysenongoQueenofTheWilisAForeignerNameboneallergysharkofwisdomTrashCavefalsebillwatch
    shruglordScreamboat__iandury007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    dude, you GOTTA see this GIF! [gif is you dying while watching the gif. you look up but im gone & so is every exit leading out of applebees]

    • 2,788
    • LIKES
    JohnGregoryJrejlflopRoosterMustacheWillie_is_KingBrkmstrCylinderHarryKershkylebutcher5sploosk
    • 1,285
    • RETWEETS
    fuddlemarkMouseRat_Fanshower_violenceLIGHTNINGxWOLFhyukjeassparklywingdingWillie_is_KingRayRaySharpay
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't

    • 2,564
    • LIKES
    AudenaryspenceforgWillNetskyejlflopkyledunphy5garbagecovenemlllyynlapi
    • 1,438
    • RETWEETS
    woopercrouton_futonughHugsstalefriesviolentlycarsp00kylukeThatAwfulNickpunmagnate
    sunfilterdeeeebagshruglordprawn_meatAbbytheGroovy__dudehugsBeeStaplerrare_basement
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"

    • 2,438
    • LIKES
    gairmscoilewarrenmmaisonwithapenfuddlemarkCarouselMouseWilcockJoeJake_May15brubinow
    • 1,433
    • RETWEETS
    sarahisthefoxJake_May15sithixchaospigeonWizardsInParisAudenaryfoote_notessrhfsy
    actualjellyfish
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    I'm not doubting that you're 1/8th Pond People, but this is a research paper. You can't cite "BOG WISDOM"

    • 2,667
    • LIKES
    unicyclepolosuper_triangledraqulHereComesAndydirehellswananthonypantsManWithoutPantsleducviolet
    • 1,204
    • RETWEETS
    kohoutekXIIMouseRat_Fandang_cutiebased_shinigamidirtyag97samhurtZGhideous_pizzacheepguava
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.

    • 2,278
    • LIKES
    hrldcprZerglinatorJacobkuppantifuchsspenceforghankhugsjdconnersfuckutom
    • 1,293
    • RETWEETS
    spenceforghrldcprZerglinatorprofanegeometryJacobkuppRilpwebJohnLemongrabwooper
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]

    • 2,248
    • LIKES
    _ghostlightKevinBuistejlflopjdconnersChrlesGlass12benicus_rexfuckutomPat_Bren
    • 1,065
    • RETWEETS
    KeytonKnightgeneraldietzgsodohMcSwtrvstayecompshvdesstabbedpainsCherylHann
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]

    • 2,055
    • LIKES
    natechartier1_zazzles_DrGhostbabyMistahBenBumbleDCKLobstarReticentTurnipZGhaoN
    • 1,078
    • RETWEETS
    searcyouslyAaron__JoeDrGhostbabyTravisDuCoteReticentTurnipMisterMcJacobMouseRat_Fan_leodunn
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    "how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

    • 2,038
    • LIKES
    ravifreitasseaneycageWilcockJoesporeguyaEvanLarrickhrldcprsuperbranchMeat_spoon
    • 1,062
    • RETWEETS
    tobleronejoneshayBEARSwooperHowMuchForGoattresdessertkatrinaspiceheadlinepayoffMichaelHabetler
    DustinAHarkins
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT

    • 1,888
    • LIKES
    ejlflopAdamUltrabergBrkmstrCylinderstai_afviolentlycarSharksOnCouchesbashishmo_fuddlemark
    • 1,207
    • RETWEETS
    fuddlemarkMouseRat_FanviolentlycarFoggleARtyabann_dac001357bashishmo_latenightjitter
    deeeebagvelcrofannypackshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen

    • 1,804
    • LIKES
    glacealamodetomastheJorts_MichaelsuntzufuntzumichaelwhitneydadsizedwtmsidJulian_Epp
    • 1,177
    • RETWEETS
    Jorts_MichaelWillNetskyJulian_EppPatrickLittenstevevsninjasLnL245HallieCloutier__LorrettaClisham__
    octoqt__Hermit_Thrush
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