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  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Gift @UtilityLimb Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 5,055
    • FAVS
    UniqueDude2AbdulitokunOdderDodder1rsenaultcjayjancEmesisNemesiselle91gmdwyer
    • 4,422
    • RETWEETS
    naughtysneakyvviDENHOUSEwilrettnigeIcvEliAllenorlikeawhalevidyamindSenrab3123
    EvaGisellemaxlavergneTRASHlNESS__pete_c_hell_homer__actualjellyfishingmarbirdmanBeeStapler
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i'm not racist, but, *cranes neck to see if anyone's around. keeps craning. head unscrews entirely. out of the hole pour jewels & mysteries*

    • 3,797
    • FAVS
    Quadricyclegood_legszeeknyDStaffordMbees_wingzcryptichandleBadperson69GoodOpinionMan
    • 2,777
    • RETWEETS
    Quadricyclegood_legszeeknyTheBigChicken7HeyYoEZbigfACEs_06_mpacTriumphMcCloud
    maxlavergneQVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]

    • 3,758
    • FAVS
    QuadricycleThatAwfulNicksurfercatcolettelmtstupidskeletonDeadLeaFMothJimmyJazz1968BaykdBeans
    • 1,735
    • RETWEETS
    QuadricycleRoelof_PrinsThatAwfulNickcolettelmtFulanianurse_ratchett7stupidskeletonJonathathBrown
    BeverlyCleary69shruglordprinceamherstfart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    an oscar the grouch in every trashcan doesn't break the canon that there's only one of him, each connects to a central body in the undercity

    • 3,335
    • FAVS
    likealumberjackcoolkidsdielateMegaWattManErroneousJuanDSLikesItWybackwastakenwithasilentMBrampersandon_
    • 1,756
    • RETWEETS
    jacobstmn1DropteengirlGregorStocksThe_ONE_AdrianMckennaSmith13HannahRoseMcKsufiathegreatTheManPants
    bromanconsulshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    ya, last name spelled: [distant howl] as in far off train, [metallic scraping] as in axe being dragged through quarry, [quiet sobbing] as in

    • 2,849
    • FAVS
    danehurtWildeThingyjamespiankayerpalmildsaucedumblelord__the_lamestDiscoFruitechoesofmine
    • 1,548
    • RETWEETS
    cakefacegracepipsuxxtoomanytoesHardmanRick__the_lamest3az2lcoffeegeistComatose_Bat
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, knowledge manifests itself in radiant dreams that shimmer like the wild sun.

    • 2,436
    • FAVS
    history_boneropaquesnakedragnutcollinwithtwoLsJulianAxelrodDangOlWilltomcashgentpistolwistol
    • 1,622
    • RETWEETS
    augdelagrangeCuzOfBadReviewsgLEAHitterguy_someone69csiwak57l0ngdongSilverrtouchdownHtownjuliesiefker
    deeeebagshruglordweird_hugs________BeeStaplerjrrrd
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    that's gay as hell dude... [later, in hospital burn ward]: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL BEING NAMED "HELL DUDE"

    • 2,608
    • FAVS
    malt_skulljayjanctomcashgentdexterreid_ZMagerzseaneycagewebzarpcapt_princess
    • 1,447
    • RETWEETS
    malt_skulldexterreid_powerful_jellyZMagerzlittle_combatwebzarpmikey_zoneurpsychoexgf
    deeeebagshruglordMrPapaya__________fart
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    pursue creativity until you're too jaded to enjoy what you loved about it to begin with. keep believing there's some answer to life in art.

    • 2,280
    • FAVS
    mtchsdwllHardmanRickjayjancDarrenDangerousmariahkevansSauceLooftomcashgentKarlieBodine
    • 1,474
    • RETWEETS
    mtchsdwllBrian_Magowanhorse_mans2ugly2breatheordeqradkalechipsshaaybslittleyounggun
    DukeRaccoonsunfiltershruglordthe_kizzle
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    it's sad thinking of all the dogs in old movies that have died, but even sadder thinking of the earth we fled because of the dogs that can't

    • 2,300
    • FAVS
    shinyemptyheadOrthoTDSticeseaneycageandyhandletbdKarEllDotstampondispenserDanielStaffor10lungbones
    • 1,322
    • RETWEETS
    onathanatsseaneycageSkullServantpillowfortpatchak21harin9t9t4TahukanuvaBrettlynCurrier
    sunfilterdeeeebagshruglordmaxlavergneAbbytheGroovy__dudehugsBeeStaplerrare_basement
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Goofs: Beavis believes his existence to be that which he experiences rather than the blanket of darkness shrouding the infinity he does not.

    • 2,198
    • FAVS
    danehurtlisa_curryHardmanRickACourtesanCostofleslistenupnerdsAvantGarciapissoffalanna
    • 1,169
    • RETWEETS
    danehurtdiss1arienienhuisCorgisaurusboobcamelsconesaregoodShineOBallODanny_Parisi_
    shruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    kinda miss when girls wore those "LOVE PINK" sweatpants. got kinda weird once they got replaced by "EAT BUGS," "FEAR SUN," and "LIVE CAVE"

    • 2,042
    • FAVS
    onume_HashtagBetfauxpaws2010malt_skullkaranlyonsdandouglaskaufmanicgmaddex
    • 1,236
    • RETWEETS
    onume_HashtagBetchuck_is_ragingQuadricyclealexmreedmalt_skulltoomanytoesThomasRandall21
    actualjellyfish
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    halloween is the only day when it's socially acceptable for a girl to dress like a PIT FULL OF SPIDERS. DUDE TRUST ME IT'S A GIRL. GET IN IT

    • 1,882
    • FAVS
    tomcashgentseaneycagewebzarpfidelcastr8tampondispenserTraikenlungbones__pyramid_
    • 1,204
    • RETWEETS
    burritoofsadmorganRparentwebzarp__pyramid_toomanytoesProbgoblinJimNotCarrey__will_ducky
    deeeebagvelcrofannypackshruglord
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    i love her BUTTE, but only PLATEAUNICALLY ;) [a tumbleweed made of bugs rolls by. they keep still, moved only by wind. are they dead? am i?]

    • 1,830
    • FAVS
    HardmanRickUniqueDude2jayjancanniesim13JustBrennywampusreynoldsPseudoacaciahoverpope
    • 876
    • RETWEETS
    TooManyPatselleaiellmalt_skullDevinKiwiDEricJonEvansKMAdams_BuffGuyplentyofalcoves
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person

    • 1,520
    • FAVS
    kebayfpistolwistolarossmangogLEAHittertampondispenserProbgoblinmadahu5swayandsea
    • 1,157
    • RETWEETS
    muteboyTsunderecumcapt_princesslittle_combatgonzoroboticsGKeberfriendgolemjmickle_
    QVT
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    teens building new species of teen out of every available resource. teens of moss and teens of ore, our old weapons can not harm them.

    • 1,649
    • FAVS
    HardmanRickCJhoorayPardonMeSir__the_lamestlivingbtwtreesrubykelsey500funkyjules99hephapkayla
    • 925
    • RETWEETS
    HardmanRickShitTacoJoneslivingbtwtreeskelley_erin_TacocatFactorykalubstudmanEmilyAryneRachelZawadzki
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    "how creative. the joy division album cover again," - me, sarcastically, to the endless black & white lines pouring out the sky into the sea

    • 1,638
    • FAVS
    super_trianglebropiates__the_lamestdexterreid_ikissdadsBrian_MagowanheteraphobicRollie_69_
    • 890
    • RETWEETS
    qu33n0fk1ng5bropiatespistolwistolikissdadsjonowen9animal_gravewebzarpTimccv164
    DustinAHarkins
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    your movie script is a lot like unicode in that it's got a bunch of stupid characters that will never show up on a screen

    • 1,483
    • FAVS
    HolllyHughescolettelmtHardmanRickGingernautplatopastapunmagnatekittenface17death_of_speedy
    • 1,038
    • RETWEETS
    HolllyHughesgalaxiaskyklozlordkakapoSuzzKalulcmetcalfDukeRaccoonpowerful_jellyarjununcle
    octoqt__Hermit_Thrush
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Todd shared a link: "Shit The Omniscient Authority Spire Says." Todd's location was changed from "Drone Warren 72A6-B" to "Reeducation Pods"

    • 1,544
    • FAVS
    Justin_BebisfloatlikeamoteJeff_G_NixonWildeThingyjesterxeropistolwistolraesreinkendallallday
    • 898
    • RETWEETS
    mindonmountainsscenemom420FelixRatbastardjohnwarrendermokepokeFoolishMountainStranamechtyWideeye_101
    shruglordScreamboat__iandury007
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    Special Buy Nothing Day Sale!! Great Deals On: [ HOLES | VOIDS | SILENCE | NUMBNESS ] whisper coupon code "hello?" into a disconnected phone

    • 1,332
    • FAVS
    jayjancHardmanRickriley_foxpurch_stomcashgentmurphttamBeanStroupairzae
    • 1,003
    • RETWEETS
    Comatose_BatSupDenmankorvinsweenbleyHardmanRickFuckedUpSunsetN0tSebastianokayguy420subt3xt
    shruglordHermit_Thrush
  • UtilityLimb
      bandit @UtilityLimb

    everybody welcome our surprise celebrity guest!! [the arm from arm & hammer hops out on stage and starts hammering people indiscriminately]

    • 1,494
    • FAVS
    HolllyHughesHardmanRickdiss1oxygenplugmike_shoroitserickoGReisbergNotActuallyJake
    • 832
    • RETWEETS
    HardmanRickdiss1toomanybeardsfofbotkfrownHeidiZapotockyN0tSebastian_CLAM_
@UtilityLimb

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