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Damn you boobies, stop being so glorious. Your owner is trying to tell me something and I need to make eye contact.
I've never experienced childbirth, but I have stepped on Legos
To my Ex Girlfriend: I faked it ! For the past 5 years I was just spitting on your back.
A horse doing the moonwalk to fleetwood mac, i want what the guy who came up with that was on
I recently came into some money.
Fucking waste of a fiver, I thought it was a tissue.
Guy on train snorting every minute, blow your nose you cunt!
Dick head of a driver close to side swiping a car at a round about, surprise surprise, they drive a BMW. Plate starts with M5II, that cunt
Once, in 2005, I read a website's terms and conditions page. True story.