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I'm a Hannah Montana in the streets and a Miley Cyrus in the sheets.
If you're looking for good beer, shitty nachos, and a killer alibi, I'm your girl.
Two things I require in a man. Intelligence & a filthy mind. So, basically a pervert with a high IQ
I might not take a bullet for you, but I'd strap on butterfly wings at a biker bar to prove my love, pumpkin
What the fuck is "Black Friday"?
Don't Americans know they can have sex with black people any day of the week?
I have issues that only a prison inmate would love.
Don't know why I even own a scale. All I need to know is...
can I get out of these pants quickly?
who wants to take off their pants and get high?
Does this sequin tube top make my childhood look traumatic?
I won't show you my cat if you don't show me your dog.
Time to put on ur big girl panties..
Who really wears panties???
Thanks to this Tic-Tac, I've now eaten something else besides vodka.
Pizza & beer for breakfast.
I love being single!
Ok....the beer is actually root beer, but I do have pizza.
I'm pretty sure if guys saw how enthusiastic I am when eating corn on the cob, I would get more dates.
"Come Together" is my favorite Beatles song, that describes what I want to do with you tonight.
"I'm such a dirty, dirty girl" sounds so much better than "too lazy to take a shower. "
Just give her a diamond. Bitches love when you give them the D.
Break my shyness, not my heart.
I'd go gay for me.
Sexual favours to the first person that brings me a grilled cheese.....
I'm naughty by nature, like I'm hip-hop hooray.