One can get up in the morning, stretch and (in Swedish) ask aloud -"WHAT DOES THIS DAY CARRY IN ITS VAGINA?"

It's true! I kid you not!

The genius you Americans display on Twitter every day... I find it hard to understand how your country ended up in its current predicament.

Get a live-tweeting account, a labored fav-attracting joke account, the depression account, the sexual frustration account, an art account..

My cunt of a brother is leaving for the weekend, my ass of a face is smiling, my dick is hard.

Expressing frustration with individuals who publicly, passive aggressively air their beef with me through social media, by doing the same.

In 2060 I'm living on Iceland and my children are distinguished members of society, the island is overrun by the armed forces of Facebook.

The Val draws and paints nude mental cases from different races in many different places. What do you do, ass faces?

That dog knew how to step up to the motherfucking microphone. I do miss him.

If I could just compress into a few wörds all the incoherent törds of the wörld I would take off like a börd.

I'M A HELL OF A RITER

All by my lonesome but with a bloody pinky.

Had a Swedish revelation. You guys wouldn't understand.

As a kid painting large letters 'U S A' on my bedroom wall, never could I have imagined that it would all crumble during my lifetime.

Orchids bear beautiful flowers and have penislike green tentacles with which they climb over anything in search of father Satan in hell.

It's Friday, I'm in love.

As a naked man with an erect penis I enter the world this midsummer; afterbirth an invisible cloud of stink-dirt.

Did you ever put on a nice shirt and instantly feel like a dick?

One would think that spending all your money on art material would get you laid constantly.

Rolling around half naked in this sofa covered in bread and cookie crumbs; I call it 'SENTIMENTAL - Face & Body Scrub'.

Girlfriend told me I'm white when I dance, whereupon we had a make out session apparently motivated by racial conflict.