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My pussy looks like a wad of Big League Chew after it's been dropped on the floor at a Supercuts.
Next time I have a man balls-deep in my fudge cutter I'm going to whisper in his ear, "your cock is the only thing keeping the poop in."
That fart was so big... now I'm afraid to light my bong.
Yes I am wearing clean panties today. No special occasion...the others just finally broke.
I like to keep a fingertip sized dollop of petroleum jelly on my butthole at all times. You know, just in case.
When I wipe from back to front, I like to call it "The Lipshitz".
New euphemism for my pussy: Pickle Bag
My lungs and trachea must look like the inside of the exhaust manifold on a '76 Pinto.
I found out the dude that is supposed to come over tonite and fist me is missing a hand. I guess I'm gonna get wristed instead...
Well, I think I'm gonna shave my legs, tease out my bush, and call it a night.
I'm really serving up the pink lettuce in these short shorts this evening.
Yes, I'll happily swallow. Why do the work if you don't want the prize?
What you're about to see may disturb you. http://miaswanson.tumblr.com
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