I am too white to be wearing shorts

I want to do a #TED talk someday. #Goals

@irothenbaum chugging.... Just chugging

If I could party with any celebrity it would be @zooeydeschanel

A fellow swimmer and old friend of mine had a relapse of Leukemia can you help spread this video made for him? http://t.co/gyfRA8O7

Just another day at work.  https://vine.co/v/b97UZAPwzzD 

@breemcmahon @shornyak don't let her get away with it! Bring down the HAMMER!!

@alfesdesigns @kplagge @breemcmahon @mcmaeven @erinthehafrican did you get my tweet yet?

Babies must be miserable people, have you heard them cry?

@katipedersen @dougschranck were? still are!

Fixed it “@granchdressing: I don't lack motivation, I lack the amount of energy necessary to complete everything I'm motivated to do. #life”

@irothenbaum its the worst when someone is in the stall next to you... right @kplagge !?

I want a grumpy cat. It would make my day everyday.

I just realized I have gotten to the point in my life where I'm excited about my new deodorant choice....

2011 CCIW 800 Free Relay:  http://youtu.be/rjJxk4AFJxs  via @irothenbaum

Learning cursive may have been the biggest waste of time of my educational career.

♫ Forrest Gump – Frank Ocean  http://spoti.fi/MtEWhF  #Spotify

My speed of walking depends on the girl in front of me.

Today I am #thankful for the Angel Soft #TP.

I can't believe it's almost November already.